1
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Florida, 1990.
2
00:00:49,759 --> 00:00:51,803
I woke up with a ferocious hangover.
3
00:00:57,475 --> 00:01:01,146
I placed my left hand across the bridge
of my nose to block the sunlight.
4
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:07,360
A moth's wing fluttered
against my right cheek.
5
00:01:09,029 --> 00:01:10,738
I put my hand in front of my face
6
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:13,450
so I could finger-flick
the little beastie across the room.
7
00:01:16,745 --> 00:01:18,288
That's when I noticed my pinkie.
8
00:01:22,876 --> 00:01:24,085
Auto animated.
9
00:01:33,053 --> 00:01:35,847
"For Christ's sake,
it's just your freaking finger."
10
00:01:37,599 --> 00:01:38,934
But it wasn't mine.
11
00:01:40,185 --> 00:01:42,812
Shit. It was somebody else's.
12
00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:45,065
Had I hit my head?
13
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:49,860
The tape of the previous night's events
was grainy at best.
14
00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:53,907
Woody Harrelson was in the bar
the night before.
15
00:01:54,616 --> 00:01:57,077
Maybe we'd had
one of our legendary drunken fights.
16
00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:05,377
But I couldn't recall any such melee.
17
00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:11,382
I did recall how my bodyguard
had to prop me up against the door frame
18
00:02:11,424 --> 00:02:13,802
while he fumbled the key into the door
of my suite.
19
00:02:16,846 --> 00:02:19,015
But I didn't feel any bumps. Fuck.
20
00:02:19,057 --> 00:02:19,974
Action!
21
00:02:20,016 --> 00:02:21,142
Action, Michael!
22
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,769
Michael, Michael!
23
00:02:22,811 --> 00:02:26,147
Here is as hot as you get
in the history of this business.
24
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,815
And the winner is Michael J. Fox.
25
00:02:28,942 --> 00:02:30,401
We're rolling.
26
00:02:30,443 --> 00:02:32,570
In the face of all evidence
to the contrary...
27
00:02:32,612 --> 00:02:35,740
- Very, very still. Mark.
- ...I was in an acid bath of fear...
28
00:02:36,491 --> 00:02:38,034
and professional insecurity.
29
00:02:48,128 --> 00:02:50,589
The trembling was a message...
30
00:02:55,010 --> 00:02:56,010
from the future.
31
00:03:40,597 --> 00:03:43,641
Everyone talks now
about owning their narrative.
32
00:03:43,683 --> 00:03:45,852
So, the sad sack story is,
33
00:03:45,894 --> 00:03:49,439
"Michael J. Fox gets this debilitating
disease, and it crushes him."
34
00:03:50,190 --> 00:03:51,191
Hmm.
35
00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:53,693
Yeah, that's boring.
36
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,700
My hair went curly,
like, at like, like, at 49.
37
00:04:00,742 --> 00:04:03,036
It never was curly,
and all of a sudden it went...
38
00:04:03,078 --> 00:04:05,163
I woke up one morning in Santa Barbara
and my hair was curly.
39
00:04:05,205 --> 00:04:07,957
- I think it's a good look.
- I can put some jam in it.
40
00:04:07,999 --> 00:04:11,002
- No, no, no, no.
- I can put a hat on.
41
00:04:11,628 --> 00:04:14,297
It's just caring too much
about what I look like for a documentary.
42
00:04:14,339 --> 00:04:19,134
Yeah. It's you.
Okay, now look at me.
43
00:04:20,178 --> 00:04:21,346
There you go.
44
00:04:21,388 --> 00:04:23,108
- Coming in.
- Uh-oh.
45
00:04:24,015 --> 00:04:26,184
Wha... Guys, at a
certain point it's just...
46
00:04:26,226 --> 00:04:28,060
- It just is what it is.
- Just right here.
47
00:04:29,688 --> 00:04:30,689
- Hey.
- Hey.
48
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,000
- How you doing?
- Yeah, I'm doing good.
49
00:04:34,526 --> 00:04:35,610
Watch me.
50
00:04:38,363 --> 00:04:40,365
- How's your day going so far?
- So far?
51
00:04:41,908 --> 00:04:45,120
So far it's, uh... it's successful.
52
00:04:45,620 --> 00:04:47,205
Everyone knows you have Parkinson's,
53
00:04:47,247 --> 00:04:49,624
but when they see you walking,
they're like, "Oh, fuck."
54
00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:51,126
Yeah.
55
00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:54,629
Good. Stop and reset.
56
00:04:56,089 --> 00:04:57,424
Good. There we go.
57
00:04:58,008 --> 00:05:00,135
The walking thing
really freaks people out.
58
00:05:01,136 --> 00:05:02,137
Oh, look.
59
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,098
But I won't hide it from you.
60
00:05:05,140 --> 00:05:06,391
- Hey.
- Hey.
61
00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:08,560
And you can do with it what you will.
62
00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:12,188
If you pity me,
it's never gonna get to me.
63
00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:14,732
I'm not pathetic.
I'm... I got shit going on.
64
00:05:14,774 --> 00:05:16,651
Hi, how you doing?
65
00:05:18,904 --> 00:05:20,196
Take your time, take your time.
66
00:05:20,238 --> 00:05:22,073
I'm a tough, uh, son of a bitch.
67
00:05:22,657 --> 00:05:24,701
I'm a cockroach,
and I've been through a lot of stuff.
68
00:05:24,743 --> 00:05:26,828
- You can't kill a cockroach.
- Can't kill a cockroach.
69
00:05:26,870 --> 00:05:28,997
Nice and slowly, nice and slowly.
70
00:05:29,039 --> 00:05:30,331
There you go. Beautiful.
71
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:32,250
- Hey, how are you?
- Good. How are you?
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00:05:32,292 --> 00:05:33,835
Good. Stop and reset.
73
00:05:35,045 --> 00:05:36,796
Mr. Fox.
74
00:05:40,091 --> 00:05:42,092
That happened.
75
00:05:43,178 --> 00:05:46,139
- You got it?
- All right... I'm okay. Thank you.
76
00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:49,392
Okay. Nice to meet you, sir.
77
00:05:49,434 --> 00:05:51,194
Nice to meet you.
You knocked me off my feet.
78
00:06:12,249 --> 00:06:16,836
Before Parkinson's,
what did it mean to be still?
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00:06:18,755 --> 00:06:20,382
I wouldn't know.
80
00:06:20,966 --> 00:06:22,424
I wouldn't know. I was never still.
81
00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:35,564
I can't pretend to remember
my two-year-old state of mind.
82
00:06:36,273 --> 00:06:41,695
Knee-high, weighing little more than
a wet beach towel, and slippery quick.
83
00:06:43,655 --> 00:06:46,032
But it's likely that my motive
in wandering out the back door
84
00:06:46,074 --> 00:06:47,367
was not to escape.
85
00:06:47,993 --> 00:06:50,245
More likely,
I failed to recognize boundaries.
86
00:06:52,247 --> 00:06:53,748
When the phone rang a few minutes later,
87
00:06:53,790 --> 00:06:56,751
the proprietor of the candy store tried
to contain his amusement.
88
00:06:58,587 --> 00:07:00,046
"Got your son here."
89
00:07:00,088 --> 00:07:03,550
I can easily picture my mother
in utter disbelief that I'd bolted.
90
00:07:04,050 --> 00:07:05,218
"Let him have a candy or something.
91
00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:07,700
My husband will be right there
to pick him up and pay for it."
92
00:07:08,597 --> 00:07:10,015
"Oh, he's got money."
93
00:07:11,641 --> 00:07:13,727
"He's got quite a bit of money,
as a matter of fact."
94
00:07:17,272 --> 00:07:20,525
As a kid,
I lacked the faith required to be still.
95
00:07:22,819 --> 00:07:24,863
It is one of the great ironies in my life.
96
00:07:25,572 --> 00:07:27,657
I couldn't be still
until I could literally...
97
00:07:30,327 --> 00:07:31,536
no longer keep still.
98
00:07:39,628 --> 00:07:42,631
When my baby sister arrived,
I wasn't jealous.
99
00:07:43,131 --> 00:07:44,966
What the hell, the more the merrier.
100
00:07:46,009 --> 00:07:49,763
But by the time I was six
and she was three, we were the same size.
101
00:07:50,805 --> 00:07:54,100
I have a specific memory
of being asked if we were twins,
102
00:07:54,142 --> 00:07:57,145
but once told that my twin
was actually three years younger,
103
00:07:57,187 --> 00:07:58,855
people's reactions changed.
104
00:08:00,065 --> 00:08:02,525
I realized that I was expected
to be bigger.
105
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:04,986
This was a new one on me.
106
00:08:07,489 --> 00:08:09,199
I couldn't do "bigger."
107
00:08:11,201 --> 00:08:13,286
I was the shortest in my class.
108
00:08:13,328 --> 00:08:15,705
Shorter than any of the people
I played hockey with.
109
00:08:15,747 --> 00:08:18,508
I was the guy who... who'd climb down
into the grate and get the ball.
110
00:08:20,877 --> 00:08:23,213
But I used to get my ass kicked.
I was a little guy.
111
00:08:26,258 --> 00:08:27,676
I'd get stuffed in lockers.
112
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:35,600
If big guys are purposely coming after
you, and then fucking hammering you...
113
00:08:37,101 --> 00:08:40,813
But I'd always relied on my ability
to run from any potential bully.
114
00:08:42,023 --> 00:08:44,693
Just when the earth seemed
to be sliding out from beneath me,
115
00:08:46,069 --> 00:08:47,571
I stumbled onto a foothold.
116
00:08:51,658 --> 00:08:52,826
Drama class.
117
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That's where the girls were.
118
00:08:59,291 --> 00:09:01,001
And I was Rumpelstiltskin in a play.
119
00:09:01,501 --> 00:09:03,919
- You were Rumpelstiltskin?
- I was Rumpelstiltskin, yeah.
120
00:09:07,799 --> 00:09:10,218
You also looked five years younger.
121
00:09:10,260 --> 00:09:12,929
Yeah, I was just a little elf.
122
00:09:13,805 --> 00:09:17,600
I was cute and elfin. I was a cute elf.
123
00:09:17,642 --> 00:09:20,061
A cute elf.
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In drama class, you could be big.
125
00:09:25,358 --> 00:09:26,878
In drama class, you could be anything.
126
00:09:28,236 --> 00:09:30,822
But my head was up my ass
if you asked my father.
127
00:09:32,324 --> 00:09:37,120
Dad was a pragmatist, determined to
protect his family from romantic fantasy.
128
00:09:38,413 --> 00:09:42,417
He'd had dreams as a young boy, but they'd
been effectively knocked out of him.
129
00:09:44,377 --> 00:09:45,962
He had a certain amount of rage.
130
00:09:47,631 --> 00:09:50,133
You'd see his lip curl,
and you knew you were in trouble.
131
00:09:50,175 --> 00:09:53,511
Then you'd go, "Oh, shit. I'm fucked now."
132
00:09:55,889 --> 00:09:59,976
A call from the principal's office
meant a harsh reprimand from Dad.
133
00:10:01,686 --> 00:10:04,981
And he'd say, "Goddamn it! Goddamn it."
134
00:10:06,233 --> 00:10:09,110
I began to spend more
of my time smoking and drinking.
135
00:10:09,694 --> 00:10:11,404
And I became a serial fender bender...
136
00:10:13,448 --> 00:10:15,492
inflicting damage to my dad's cars.
137
00:10:17,911 --> 00:10:19,711
So, in his mind, you're a fuckup.
138
00:10:20,664 --> 00:10:22,249
Yeah, a poten-potential fuckup.
139
00:10:25,085 --> 00:10:27,879
Hey. Looking good.
140
00:10:27,921 --> 00:10:31,466
These shoes are terrific.
Now I got a fighting chance.
141
00:10:32,717 --> 00:10:34,219
When I was 16,
142
00:10:34,261 --> 00:10:37,305
my acting teacher
thrust a newspaper into my hands.
143
00:10:37,347 --> 00:10:39,266
"They're looking for a bright
12-year-old kid,
144
00:10:39,766 --> 00:10:42,352
and hell, you'd be the brightest
12-year-old kid they're ever gonna meet."
145
00:10:42,394 --> 00:10:45,854
But I'm gonna blow it, Leo.
All those people looking at me.
146
00:10:46,773 --> 00:10:48,191
We're ready for you in Makeup.
147
00:10:48,817 --> 00:10:50,986
You're gonna make history, kid.
148
00:10:53,405 --> 00:10:55,073
Gotta grow an inch by Friday.
149
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:58,034
I got the part. It was that easy.
150
00:10:59,035 --> 00:10:59,994
Basketball tryouts?
151
00:11:00,036 --> 00:11:02,080
No. Penny Montgomery.
152
00:11:02,122 --> 00:11:05,792
If I stand real close,
I can't see her face.
153
00:11:08,587 --> 00:11:11,172
The casting director believed
I held an advantage.
154
00:11:11,923 --> 00:11:14,133
American producers would be eager
to hire an actor
155
00:11:14,175 --> 00:11:15,886
who looked young enough to play a kid.
156
00:11:16,678 --> 00:11:20,265
But that meant moving to Hollywood
and dropping out of high school.
157
00:11:22,976 --> 00:11:24,769
And that seemed inconceivable.
158
00:11:26,897 --> 00:11:29,441
Dad,
"Are you sure this is what you wanna do?"
159
00:11:30,317 --> 00:11:32,152
Me, "Absolutely."
160
00:11:33,236 --> 00:11:34,446
"You're that confident?"
161
00:11:35,238 --> 00:11:36,405
"Absolutely."
162
00:11:39,701 --> 00:11:41,202
And then Dad shocked me.
163
00:11:43,622 --> 00:11:45,832
"Well, if you're gonna be a lumberjack,
164
00:11:45,874 --> 00:11:47,918
you might as well go
to the goddamn forest."
165
00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:52,721
So, secretly, he believed in you.
166
00:11:54,216 --> 00:11:55,383
Yeah.
167
00:12:00,555 --> 00:12:02,265
Dad agreed to underwrite the adventure,
168
00:12:03,475 --> 00:12:05,227
putting the whole trip on his Visa card.
169
00:12:39,803 --> 00:12:43,515
I remember thinking just how far Dad
and I had come over the past few weeks.
170
00:12:47,894 --> 00:12:49,938
He advised me that he'd just drive
to the appointments
171
00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:51,731
and debrief me after each one.
172
00:12:53,316 --> 00:12:56,361
His way of signaling to me
that this was my show, not his.
173
00:13:03,326 --> 00:13:04,494
Hello.
174
00:13:06,371 --> 00:13:07,831
No, that's perfect.
175
00:13:09,541 --> 00:13:11,376
Every audition earned a callback,
176
00:13:11,418 --> 00:13:13,920
and three of the callbacks produced
solid offers.
177
00:13:16,506 --> 00:13:21,845
"You've got the world by the tail,"
Dad said. "Just hold on."
178
00:13:26,558 --> 00:13:29,185
My studio apartment was
in the slums of Beverly Hills.
179
00:13:31,855 --> 00:13:34,524
It's the prettiest house
I ever seen in my life.
180
00:13:35,317 --> 00:13:37,819
Well, I was just thinking I'm glad
you came home with me.
181
00:13:41,031 --> 00:13:45,535
The apartment was 17-by-12 feet.
One mattress, one hot plate,
182
00:13:45,577 --> 00:13:50,165
with a microscopic bathroom
and the domicile's one and only sink.
183
00:13:54,169 --> 00:13:57,172
I washed my hair with Palmolive
and my dishes with Head & Shoulders.
184
00:14:02,302 --> 00:14:04,638
I-I really had a great time tonight.
185
00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:10,310
I enlisted Ronald McDonald
as my exclusive nutritionist.
186
00:14:16,024 --> 00:14:18,485
- We alone?
- Alone?
187
00:14:19,486 --> 00:14:22,239
I mean, is your husband lurking about?
188
00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:25,408
But by the spring of 1982...
189
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:26,492
Schweitzer.
190
00:14:26,534 --> 00:14:28,411
...the scenario was grim.
191
00:14:28,453 --> 00:14:30,163
What's going on here? What is this?
192
00:14:30,205 --> 00:14:33,541
Please relax, Mr. Wyatt.
I'm going to examine your chest.
193
00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:36,211
- Hey, is this a joke or something?
- Uh, hi.
194
00:14:36,253 --> 00:14:38,171
I continued to pick up acting jobs,
195
00:14:39,214 --> 00:14:41,174
but they barely earned me enough
to live on.
196
00:14:42,092 --> 00:14:44,219
My agent took 10% of my paycheck.
197
00:14:44,261 --> 00:14:45,512
Your paycheck.
198
00:14:46,096 --> 00:14:48,723
And then there was the photographer,
publicist or lawyer.
199
00:14:49,558 --> 00:14:52,393
- It says "$1.25."
- Yeah, so?
200
00:14:52,435 --> 00:14:54,312
I'm telling you it's wrong.
It's a mistake!
201
00:14:54,354 --> 00:14:58,191
- I worked hard for this.
- It's not fair.
202
00:14:58,233 --> 00:15:00,068
I worked too hard for this.
203
00:15:00,652 --> 00:15:01,903
I began to liquidate.
204
00:15:02,737 --> 00:15:05,532
I sold off my sectional sofa
section by section.
205
00:15:08,952 --> 00:15:13,039
I came close on a couple of movies.
Most notably, Ordinary People.
206
00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:16,501
But Robert Redford seemed less than
impressed by my reading.
207
00:15:17,085 --> 00:15:19,004
He spent the audition flossing his teeth.
208
00:15:21,590 --> 00:15:23,842
Why did they have to come here
in the first place?
209
00:15:24,384 --> 00:15:26,428
The rejection can be so matter-of-fact
210
00:15:26,970 --> 00:15:28,847
that there's a danger
you'll get numbed by it.
211
00:15:28,889 --> 00:15:31,933
Don't listen to those that
don't know what they're talking about.
212
00:15:33,935 --> 00:15:35,228
I was down to days.
213
00:15:37,898 --> 00:15:41,359
So, you're running out of
money. That's all that...
214
00:15:41,401 --> 00:15:45,864
I wa... "Running out" is...
Is generous. I had no... I had no money.
215
00:15:46,448 --> 00:15:48,867
- I was taking jam packets from IHOPs.
- What's that?
216
00:15:48,909 --> 00:15:50,827
- Like... Like, just... Smucker's.
- Why?
217
00:15:50,869 --> 00:15:52,120
- Why?
- To e... To eat.
218
00:15:53,163 --> 00:15:54,747
- Come on.
- And I... I wa...
219
00:15:54,789 --> 00:15:57,375
I was finding quarters
and nickels and dimes,
220
00:15:57,417 --> 00:16:00,378
and I'd use that to get to the next
moment. I was living beat to beat.
221
00:16:00,420 --> 00:16:03,298
And I said, "I... I gotta get
out of here. I have no money,
222
00:16:03,340 --> 00:16:07,468
and I owe the IRS money, and I... I'm
ducking the landlord, and I got no phone."
223
00:16:07,510 --> 00:16:09,596
I mea... I mean,
I have to walk to the airport.
224
00:16:09,638 --> 00:16:12,223
- What was the expectation?
- Uh, I... My expectation was,
225
00:16:12,265 --> 00:16:13,808
my brother's
a construction superintendent,
226
00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:16,436
and I'd be working on his sites
picking up nails.
227
00:16:20,232 --> 00:16:21,775
But I still had a chip and a chair.
228
00:16:23,610 --> 00:16:24,694
A what?
229
00:16:24,736 --> 00:16:27,989
Playing poker, as long as you got
a chip left and a chair to sit in,
230
00:16:28,490 --> 00:16:30,408
you're in the game.
You got a chip and a chair.
231
00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:39,251
This was it. This was my last shot.
232
00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:50,512
"You gotta stop hawking me
about this kid,"
233
00:16:51,012 --> 00:16:54,349
producer Gary David Goldberg told
the casting director of his new sitcom.
234
00:16:54,391 --> 00:16:56,601
We don't wanna get into an
area where we're bringing someone on
235
00:16:56,643 --> 00:16:59,020
who's not funny. You know, and there's
not... not any comedy there.
236
00:16:59,062 --> 00:17:01,439
"There's no way
I'm gonna change my mind on this.
237
00:17:01,481 --> 00:17:03,024
He's just not our guy."
238
00:17:03,066 --> 00:17:06,528
I think we all feel
that Alex is super competent,
239
00:17:06,570 --> 00:17:09,948
you know, editor of the paper,
but sympathetic underneath.
240
00:17:10,991 --> 00:17:12,742
"I know what I want, and I'm telling you,
241
00:17:12,784 --> 00:17:15,620
I don't want Michael Fox
playing Alex Keaton."
242
00:17:17,122 --> 00:17:20,416
No. I want this job. I need it.
I can do it.
243
00:17:20,458 --> 00:17:22,710
Everywhere I've been,
there's always been something wrong.
244
00:17:22,752 --> 00:17:26,923
Too young, too old, too short, too tall.
Whatever the exception is, I can fix it.
245
00:17:26,965 --> 00:17:29,593
I can be older. I can be taller.
I can be anything.
246
00:17:33,221 --> 00:17:38,143
- Here we go. Ready? In five.
- Five, four, three, two!
247
00:17:39,603 --> 00:17:45,525
Um. Uh... Uh... Wait, wait,
I'm sorry, my script just went to pieces.
248
00:17:47,611 --> 00:17:49,487
- Where is it? Shit.
- Top of 11.
249
00:17:49,988 --> 00:17:51,614
"It's his first day of kindergarten, Mom.
250
00:17:51,656 --> 00:17:54,074
He doesn't wanna be late.
This could affect his entire life."
251
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:59,039
"Mal's right. After all, this
is my Alma mater. I am a legend there."
252
00:18:01,833 --> 00:18:04,169
And... And they laughed. And I just went...
253
00:18:04,711 --> 00:18:10,466
It was just, like... a wash of... of... of,
like, "Wow."
254
00:18:10,508 --> 00:18:12,628
"Oh, I got one too."
255
00:18:16,973 --> 00:18:20,351
There's no drink, there's no drug,
there's no woman, there's no... nothing
256
00:18:20,393 --> 00:18:23,188
that can touch that moment for me
as a 22-year-old guy
257
00:18:23,230 --> 00:18:26,065
who'd been fighting for three years
to... to make it.
258
00:18:26,107 --> 00:18:28,067
"Aha! Good, good, good, good, good."
259
00:18:30,904 --> 00:18:32,822
Laughter is...
You can't... You can't help it.
260
00:18:33,323 --> 00:18:35,074
I... Like, I just found something,
261
00:18:35,116 --> 00:18:38,578
a way to communicate with you that
you didn't expect, you have no...
262
00:18:38,620 --> 00:18:41,664
You have no answer for it,
except to... except to make a noise.
263
00:18:41,706 --> 00:18:44,209
"...kidding me? Come"...
264
00:18:48,004 --> 00:18:51,800
If you didn't have any, you'd have
to let air out. It's really honest.
265
00:18:53,426 --> 00:18:56,054
Gary David Goldberg leaned back
in his chair and said,
266
00:18:56,721 --> 00:18:58,682
"Why didn't anybody tell me
about this kid?"
267
00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:01,417
Great.
268
00:19:03,061 --> 00:19:06,147
I was standing at a pay phone
outside of a Pioneer Chicken franchise.
269
00:19:07,148 --> 00:19:09,651
While my agent was talking
about a seven-figure salary,
270
00:19:11,403 --> 00:19:15,865
I stared at the menu wishing I had
$1.99 to buy the buffalo wings.
271
00:19:17,617 --> 00:19:20,078
The contract could not be officially
locked in, however,
272
00:19:20,704 --> 00:19:25,291
as the NBC executive wunderkind
head of programming, Brandon Tartikoff,
273
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:28,169
was absolutely against giving me
the role of Alex Keaton.
274
00:19:28,670 --> 00:19:34,009
This guy is very proficient,
and he hits the comedy, but, um,
275
00:19:34,509 --> 00:19:37,637
I don't think we're talking about somebody
who's gonna be on a lunch box.
276
00:19:39,097 --> 00:19:42,142
It would be a relatively simple
matter for me to be fired and replaced.
277
00:19:44,477 --> 00:19:47,689
The argument raged on right up to the day
we began shooting the pilot.
278
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,244
So, welcome to Family Ties, everybody.
279
00:20:01,286 --> 00:20:02,704
Andy, we ready to go?
280
00:20:02,746 --> 00:20:05,665
Whatever happened in the next hour
was gonna decide my fate.
281
00:20:05,707 --> 00:20:08,043
The guys will bring down the house lights.
282
00:20:20,639 --> 00:20:21,640
Whoa.
283
00:20:26,728 --> 00:20:29,064
Start your VTRs, please.
Start your machines.
284
00:20:30,065 --> 00:20:31,566
Okay, Paul, you got the first shot.
285
00:20:31,608 --> 00:20:34,694
- Have a good show, everyone.
- Three, two...
286
00:20:35,278 --> 00:20:38,572
Here we go. We're ready. And action. Go.
287
00:20:41,159 --> 00:20:43,578
Hello. May I tell him who's calling?
288
00:20:44,162 --> 00:20:45,371
Kimberly Blanton.
289
00:20:45,413 --> 00:20:46,748
- Kimberly.
- Oh, I'm sorry...
290
00:20:46,790 --> 00:20:48,959
From the moment I ad-libbed
the initial P...
291
00:20:49,459 --> 00:20:52,003
Alex P. Keaton here.
292
00:20:56,091 --> 00:20:58,593
...I felt as though the audience
was aware of my desperate days
293
00:20:58,635 --> 00:20:59,928
leading up to that moment.
294
00:21:01,221 --> 00:21:04,640
Hi. Sorry I had to answer the door myself.
Our butler's off tonight.
295
00:21:11,064 --> 00:21:14,192
If Kimberly doesn't like your family
for who they are,
296
00:21:14,234 --> 00:21:17,445
then maybe she isn't worth caring
about at all, don't you think?
297
00:21:18,530 --> 00:21:21,170
Are you gonna wear your hair like that,
or are you gonna put it up?
298
00:21:27,330 --> 00:21:28,832
Michael J. Fox!
299
00:21:31,209 --> 00:21:33,086
Whoa, whoa. This is working.
300
00:21:36,756 --> 00:21:42,554
I just knew at that moment, like...
...it was all gonna come true.
301
00:21:42,596 --> 00:21:43,763
Mom, what are you doing?
302
00:21:43,805 --> 00:21:47,016
The situation comedy
was supposed to focus on the parents.
303
00:21:47,058 --> 00:21:48,142
No bananas, Ma.
304
00:21:50,228 --> 00:21:53,439
Instead,
America fell in love with their son.
305
00:21:53,481 --> 00:21:56,401
Play towards Michael. That'd help her.
And here on out to play towards Michael.
306
00:21:56,443 --> 00:21:58,278
Okay, he'll be fine.
307
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,238
His performance is so good.
308
00:22:02,115 --> 00:22:05,326
Watching him, you are struck
by his exquisite sense of timing.
309
00:22:05,368 --> 00:22:11,166
I find a sense of humor in a man
to be incredibly sexually exciting.
310
00:22:13,919 --> 00:22:16,379
A priest and a rabbi are in a room.
311
00:22:18,757 --> 00:22:21,259
When did you discover
that you liked to make people laugh?
312
00:22:21,301 --> 00:22:23,386
When I was growing up, I was a small kid.
313
00:22:23,428 --> 00:22:25,805
It was either, you know,
funny or fight, so...
314
00:22:25,847 --> 00:22:28,183
The idea is always
if you can make the big guy laugh
315
00:22:28,225 --> 00:22:31,394
- before you can make him mad at you...
- ...it's a safer way to go.
316
00:22:31,436 --> 00:22:33,646
- Cue.
- Alex, come on, admit it.
317
00:22:33,688 --> 00:22:35,065
You're really special.
318
00:22:35,941 --> 00:22:37,776
All right. I...
319
00:22:38,693 --> 00:22:40,736
I don't wanna get in an argument
about this.
320
00:22:44,199 --> 00:22:50,413
Mr. Fox, uh, sent me this, uh, lunch box.
321
00:22:51,873 --> 00:22:55,752
Affectionately signed, "Brandon,
love and kisses, Michael J. Fox."
322
00:23:22,237 --> 00:23:25,281
When I'm with you,
I can see in your eyes
323
00:23:25,323 --> 00:23:30,495
that you've got a great one-liner and that
it's hard to get that to your mouth.
324
00:23:31,288 --> 00:23:33,331
I... It just sucks.
It's... It's really hard.
325
00:23:34,332 --> 00:23:38,920
When... When... When I'm really
in need of dopamine and...
326
00:23:38,962 --> 00:23:42,924
At the end of a dose...
I'm getting close to that now.
327
00:23:43,425 --> 00:23:47,595
Um, I get frozen and I...
Frozen physically and frozen facially.
328
00:23:47,637 --> 00:23:51,140
It's a mask. I have a...
A parkinsonian mask.
329
00:23:51,182 --> 00:23:53,518
I... Just,
I have to... I have to really work...
330
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:56,688
To struggle to... to smile,
to show expression.
331
00:23:57,314 --> 00:24:00,114
It gives... It gives me a...
A kind of blank countenance.
332
00:24:01,526 --> 00:24:03,194
If you were having pure exhilaration,
333
00:24:03,236 --> 00:24:06,364
- what would your face look like?
- Like this.
334
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:11,911
This is what you did for a living.
335
00:24:11,953 --> 00:24:13,037
Yeah.
336
00:24:26,968 --> 00:24:28,053
And stop.
337
00:24:29,763 --> 00:24:32,849
Okay. You feel warmed up?
Is it making you light-headed?
338
00:24:32,891 --> 00:24:35,476
It's ma... making me crazy.
339
00:24:35,518 --> 00:24:38,855
Okay, we're gonna do some pages
from your book.
340
00:24:38,897 --> 00:24:41,941
Okay.
"After my dad retired from the Army..."
341
00:24:41,983 --> 00:24:43,068
Little straighter.
342
00:24:44,778 --> 00:24:46,978
Why do you wanna tell
this story right now?
343
00:24:55,664 --> 00:24:59,251
"As a kid, many things seemed
to come easily to me.
344
00:25:00,126 --> 00:25:02,170
I'd read a big picture book
cover to cover..."
345
00:25:02,212 --> 00:25:03,797
My world is getting smaller.
346
00:25:04,297 --> 00:25:06,299
I love my mind,
and I love the place it takes me,
347
00:25:06,341 --> 00:25:09,511
and I... and I just don't want that
to get cut short.
348
00:25:11,012 --> 00:25:13,431
"As a kid, many things seemed
to come easily to me..."
349
00:25:13,473 --> 00:25:16,768
Is there gonna be a moment...
Maybe it's 20 years from now...
350
00:25:16,810 --> 00:25:19,145
Where you can't tell your story?
351
00:25:20,105 --> 00:25:21,481
Well, if I'm here 20 years from now,
352
00:25:21,523 --> 00:25:27,195
I'll be... I'd either be cured
or, like, a pickle.
353
00:25:28,822 --> 00:25:32,450
"I had to eat my lunch through a s...
I had to eat my lunch through a straw"...
354
00:25:36,871 --> 00:25:39,207
..."with several layers
of form-fitted rubber foam
355
00:25:39,249 --> 00:25:42,043
studded with yak hair affixed on my face."
That's actually really, like...
356
00:25:42,085 --> 00:25:43,919
- Who wrote that stuff?
- Some asshole.
357
00:25:48,216 --> 00:25:49,676
It was a low-budget B movie.
358
00:25:51,928 --> 00:25:53,930
But down the street were professionals.
359
00:25:57,267 --> 00:25:58,476
What were those guys doing?
360
00:25:59,728 --> 00:26:03,773
They're with the new Zemeckis
and Spielberg movie. Who's in it?
361
00:26:04,608 --> 00:26:05,525
Crispin Glover.
362
00:26:06,943 --> 00:26:07,944
Ouch.
363
00:26:08,653 --> 00:26:12,282
It stung a little bit that Crazy Crispin
was gonna do a Spielberg movie
364
00:26:13,658 --> 00:26:16,119
while I...
365
00:26:17,746 --> 00:26:20,165
Thrown away on some B-grade
high school werewolf movie.
366
00:26:27,839 --> 00:26:29,599
A day or two after our Christmas break,
367
00:26:31,384 --> 00:26:33,803
Gary David Goldberg had summoned me
into his office.
368
00:26:38,475 --> 00:26:40,185
"I have a confession to make," Gary began.
369
00:26:41,853 --> 00:26:44,898
"Just before the start of the season,
Steven sent me a copy of this script."
370
00:26:46,524 --> 00:26:48,944
Whenever Gary said "Steven,"
I knew he meant Spielberg.
371
00:26:52,906 --> 00:26:54,616
"Steven had wanted you for the lead role.
372
00:26:54,658 --> 00:26:57,619
They came to me asking if there was
any way I could let you outta the show.
373
00:26:59,788 --> 00:27:02,332
I didn't mention it to you then,
because it was just impossible.
374
00:27:16,429 --> 00:27:18,723
They started shooting
a couple of months ago with Eric Stoltz,
375
00:27:18,765 --> 00:27:21,017
but they don't think he's the right fit
for the role.
376
00:27:24,854 --> 00:27:27,454
It's gonna be expensive,
but they wanna reshoot all of his stuff."
377
00:27:29,192 --> 00:27:30,735
My head was spinning.
378
00:27:33,863 --> 00:27:34,948
Anything else?
379
00:27:35,532 --> 00:27:37,813
"You're not gonna miss
an hour of work on the show."
380
00:27:44,082 --> 00:27:45,417
The deal was made.
381
00:27:49,504 --> 00:27:51,923
A Teamster driver would pick me up
at 9:30 a.m.
382
00:27:53,633 --> 00:27:54,885
and take me to Paramount...
383
00:27:57,345 --> 00:27:59,723
where I would spend
the day shooting Family Ties.
384
00:28:02,225 --> 00:28:03,226
Hi, how you doing?
385
00:28:04,394 --> 00:28:06,103
You think you can handle both jobs?
386
00:28:10,150 --> 00:28:11,985
That's for me.
387
00:28:16,406 --> 00:28:19,200
Then at 6:00, another Teamster
driver would pick me up and shuttle me
388
00:28:19,242 --> 00:28:22,287
to whatever far-flung location
we were based at that evening.
389
00:28:40,305 --> 00:28:41,431
Action!
390
00:28:42,098 --> 00:28:43,391
Wait a minute, Doc.
391
00:28:43,433 --> 00:28:48,021
Uh, are you telling me that you built
a time machine...
392
00:28:48,897 --> 00:28:49,940
...out of a DeLorean?
393
00:28:52,734 --> 00:28:55,570
I would work on the film
until just before sunrise.
394
00:29:00,992 --> 00:29:03,536
At that point, I'd climb
into the back of a production van
395
00:29:03,578 --> 00:29:04,996
with a pillow and a blanket
396
00:29:05,747 --> 00:29:08,250
and yet another Teamster driver
would take me home again.
397
00:29:11,670 --> 00:29:13,338
I catch two or three hours of sleep...
398
00:29:17,842 --> 00:29:20,762
...before Teamster driver number one
would reappear at my apartment,
399
00:29:21,346 --> 00:29:23,056
let himself in with a key I provided,
400
00:29:24,307 --> 00:29:25,308
brew a pot of coffee,
401
00:29:26,685 --> 00:29:27,585
turn on the shower.
402
00:29:30,855 --> 00:29:32,941
And then start
the whole process all over again.
403
00:29:39,614 --> 00:29:41,491
Oh, hello, hello!
404
00:29:41,533 --> 00:29:43,159
- Alex, you're an hour late.
- Yes?
405
00:29:43,201 --> 00:29:44,869
So, how's your new job, Alex?
406
00:29:45,370 --> 00:29:48,331
Oh, it's great. It's, um, really great.
407
00:29:48,373 --> 00:29:50,375
Oh, that's my ride.
I gotta be in early today.
408
00:29:56,673 --> 00:29:58,508
- Mark.
- Action!
409
00:30:10,103 --> 00:30:12,438
Okay, guys and dolls!
410
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:13,982
For the next three-and-a-half months,
411
00:30:14,024 --> 00:30:17,277
the combination of Back to the Future
and Family Ties swallowed me whole.
412
00:30:19,321 --> 00:30:20,114
Take 22.
413
00:30:20,156 --> 00:30:22,824
I experienced confusion
as to what set I was on...
414
00:30:24,326 --> 00:30:26,494
...and basically who I was
in the first place.
415
00:30:27,203 --> 00:30:30,206
You've worked every afternoon
and evening for the past two weeks.
416
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:42,761
How could any of this shit be any good?
417
00:30:48,975 --> 00:30:50,727
- How you doing today?
- I'm good. How are you?
418
00:30:50,769 --> 00:30:53,188
Good. Tired.
419
00:30:56,233 --> 00:30:58,944
- What happened here?
- I smashed my head.
420
00:31:00,862 --> 00:31:05,617
I was walking really fast,
and I fell into this piece of furniture.
421
00:31:06,618 --> 00:31:10,080
I... I didn't hit the furniture the way
I usually do, and I hit it with my face.
422
00:31:10,580 --> 00:31:12,081
And I... For a second,
I was lying on the ground,
423
00:31:12,123 --> 00:31:14,209
and I said, "I think I fucked
myself."
424
00:31:14,251 --> 00:31:19,130
And then I started to, um, bruise,
and my eyes went black. My...
425
00:31:19,172 --> 00:31:22,091
This eye went really black.
And then they did X-rays,
426
00:31:22,133 --> 00:31:25,929
and they said that "You broke all
the bones in your cheek and your eye."
427
00:31:26,555 --> 00:31:30,558
And they did surgery and went in
and fixed it and put pins in it.
428
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,644
I had pins here and here.
429
00:31:33,603 --> 00:31:34,979
- Here. Yeah.
- You had pins in there?
430
00:31:35,021 --> 00:31:37,774
So, yeah. So, I smashed my face up,
but I do that.
431
00:31:37,816 --> 00:31:41,736
- Like, I do, like... It's part of the...
- ...deal is that I fall.
432
00:31:41,778 --> 00:31:44,072
- It's the real deal.
- Parkinson's and gravity are real.
433
00:31:44,114 --> 00:31:47,741
Yeah, gravity is real. Even if
you're only falling from my... my height.
434
00:31:49,953 --> 00:31:51,288
Okay, we're back to business.
435
00:31:52,289 --> 00:31:53,914
The story of me, take two.
436
00:32:01,464 --> 00:32:03,842
Jesus, my head.
437
00:32:06,136 --> 00:32:07,304
Where the hell am I?
438
00:32:12,017 --> 00:32:12,852
Hello?
439
00:32:12,894 --> 00:32:14,394
"Mike, we just saw the movie."
440
00:32:14,436 --> 00:32:15,311
What movie?
441
00:32:15,353 --> 00:32:17,314
"Your movie. Back to the Future."
442
00:32:19,316 --> 00:32:21,192
The person calling me was my agent.
443
00:32:22,319 --> 00:32:24,571
I'm sorry, Pete. I know I suck.
444
00:32:25,780 --> 00:32:29,075
If this was the beginning
of the end, it had been a hell of a ride.
445
00:32:29,868 --> 00:32:32,787
I'm Roger Ebert,
film critic of the Chicago Sun-Times.
446
00:32:32,829 --> 00:32:35,749
And I'm Gene Siskel,
film critic of the Chicago Tribune.
447
00:32:36,249 --> 00:32:39,502
First, Back to the Future.
A time travel movie, a category I hate,
448
00:32:39,544 --> 00:32:42,547
because you're never really gonna change
things when they go back in the past,
449
00:32:42,589 --> 00:32:45,091
because that would mean that the future
that we saw at the beginning of the film
450
00:32:45,133 --> 00:32:46,634
would've had to have been a lie, right?
451
00:32:46,676 --> 00:32:49,512
But, Back to the Future managed
to beat that problem,
452
00:32:49,554 --> 00:32:51,472
and it delighted me in so doing.
453
00:32:51,514 --> 00:32:54,100
This is my favorite film
of the summer movie season.
454
00:32:55,185 --> 00:32:58,396
And Michael J. Fox gives
an absolutely winning performance.
455
00:32:59,147 --> 00:33:02,817
The ride, it turned out,
was only beginning.
456
00:33:15,830 --> 00:33:18,458
How are you doing
with the early word on this movie?
457
00:33:18,500 --> 00:33:20,126
The early word is "spectacular."
458
00:33:20,168 --> 00:33:22,753
- Kind of frightening, yes.
- Scary. Yeah, it's really scary.
459
00:33:26,925 --> 00:33:29,302
- Will you be the same guy?
- Yeah.
460
00:33:29,344 --> 00:33:31,596
- Will you handle it well?
- Yeah.
461
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,960
There's a news stand
in my old Studio City neighborhood.
462
00:33:39,771 --> 00:33:41,648
Every now and then, I'd stop by.
463
00:33:42,274 --> 00:33:44,442
No, I wasn't checking out Hustler
or Juggs,
464
00:33:45,068 --> 00:33:47,320
but surveying the versions
of myself on display.
465
00:33:47,362 --> 00:33:51,241
GQ. US. People. Rolling Stone.
466
00:33:51,741 --> 00:33:53,785
Playgirl. TigerBeat. TV Guide.
467
00:33:53,827 --> 00:33:56,162
Variety. McCall's. The Star. The Globe.
468
00:33:56,204 --> 00:33:59,082
Seventeen, 16, Mad, Cracked,
and on and on.
469
00:34:00,166 --> 00:34:02,794
Everywhere I looked,
I saw my image reflected back at me.
470
00:34:03,295 --> 00:34:05,714
None of them was a true representation
of my real self...
471
00:34:08,008 --> 00:34:09,134
Whoever that was.
472
00:34:11,720 --> 00:34:17,683
Here is as hot as you get in the history
of this business. Here is Michael J. Fox.
473
00:34:19,477 --> 00:34:21,438
Michael J. Fox!
474
00:34:22,188 --> 00:34:25,317
Michael J. Fox is with us tonight. Yeah!
475
00:34:31,907 --> 00:34:33,575
Doesn't that make you just feel fabulous?
476
00:34:33,617 --> 00:34:37,036
That's great. It cost a lot to fly
my whole family down here, but I'm glad...
477
00:34:39,748 --> 00:34:41,291
First of all, congratulations.
478
00:34:41,333 --> 00:34:44,377
Back to the Future is still number one
at the box office.
479
00:34:44,419 --> 00:34:46,838
But it's gonna get some
new competition this weekend
480
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:50,090
from another Michael J. Fox movie.
Is it gonna give it a run for its money?
481
00:34:50,717 --> 00:34:51,968
I don't know.
482
00:34:54,804 --> 00:34:58,225
The popularity
of Michael J. Fox is a phenomenon.
483
00:35:04,648 --> 00:35:06,357
Well,
you're just gonna have to tell Spielberg,
484
00:35:06,399 --> 00:35:08,039
I'm not prepared to make that commitment.
485
00:35:09,361 --> 00:35:11,571
What is the secret of your success?
486
00:35:11,613 --> 00:35:12,697
This is my...
487
00:35:13,365 --> 00:35:15,741
Uh, I can't believe I was about to say
acting is my life.
488
00:35:17,035 --> 00:35:19,955
TV's Emmy Awards were handed out,
and the winners are...
489
00:35:23,208 --> 00:35:25,835
I don't believe this! Great!
490
00:35:27,045 --> 00:35:29,756
I feel four feet tall.
491
00:35:29,798 --> 00:35:32,717
And I always see your name
with "adorable" in front of it.
492
00:35:32,759 --> 00:35:35,094
Now, does this get a little annoying
after a while?
493
00:35:35,136 --> 00:35:36,804
Yeah, well, I... My mom writes
for these magazines.
494
00:35:36,846 --> 00:35:38,515
Oh, is that right?
495
00:35:38,557 --> 00:35:40,433
I think Michael Fox is cute.
496
00:35:40,475 --> 00:35:43,853
I think Michael Fox is really cute.
And I'd go out with him anytime.
497
00:35:45,564 --> 00:35:49,359
Don't get me wrong.
I had a really, really good time.
498
00:35:51,069 --> 00:35:53,309
- Who are you sleeping with?
- Who are you sleeping with?
499
00:35:53,738 --> 00:35:55,615
Um...
500
00:35:57,701 --> 00:36:00,328
I wasn't gonna ask you. It's Shelley.
I was gonna go right back to...
501
00:36:00,370 --> 00:36:01,579
But you did.
502
00:36:01,621 --> 00:36:02,956
Because...
503
00:36:02,998 --> 00:36:05,208
I still don't get it.
I'm like...
504
00:36:05,250 --> 00:36:10,171
I mean, I still have no idea
what people see, but... but...
505
00:36:12,841 --> 00:36:14,676
I have a favorite beer.
I don't know if I can mention it,
506
00:36:14,718 --> 00:36:18,346
but it's a Canadian beer, and it has
a certain antlered animal on the front.
507
00:36:19,472 --> 00:36:23,602
One morning, I peered out
the window to see a beer delivery truck.
508
00:36:25,770 --> 00:36:28,607
"There's a lot more where this came
from," the delivery guy said.
509
00:36:30,025 --> 00:36:33,236
I owned a Ferrari, a Range Rover,
a Jeep Cherokee,
510
00:36:33,737 --> 00:36:36,031
a Mercedes 560 SL convertible.
511
00:36:48,752 --> 00:36:50,992
The booze was free,
and I was usually the guest of honor.
512
00:37:08,146 --> 00:37:11,065
I had a guy who pulled over my Ferrari
one time on the way to work.
513
00:37:11,107 --> 00:37:13,068
And... And the cop leans in, he goes,
514
00:37:14,236 --> 00:37:16,321
"Mike, is that you?" And I say, "Yeah."
He said,
515
00:37:16,363 --> 00:37:17,864
"This is a big, heavy car.
You gotta be careful."
516
00:37:17,906 --> 00:37:20,075
I was going 90 down Ventura Boulevard
in a Ferrari.
517
00:37:20,575 --> 00:37:22,285
And he said, "Love the show."
518
00:37:23,495 --> 00:37:25,538
I said, "That's it?"
519
00:37:27,082 --> 00:37:28,583
- So, five steps forward.
- Yeah.
520
00:37:29,251 --> 00:37:32,420
If your left foot catches,
you stop and reset when you can.
521
00:37:32,462 --> 00:37:35,006
I'm not gonna stop you,
but you stop when you can.
522
00:37:35,048 --> 00:37:36,591
- It's locking...
- Good.
523
00:37:36,633 --> 00:37:38,051
- My knees are locking out.
- Good.
524
00:37:38,093 --> 00:37:39,928
- Yeah, I can do this without...
- So, settle into this.
525
00:37:39,970 --> 00:37:43,973
Bounce into it. Feel those heels. Turn.
Know that you're settled.
526
00:37:44,015 --> 00:37:45,016
There's that period of time
527
00:37:45,058 --> 00:37:47,977
- that I was the king of the world.
- Good. Golf stance again, don't lock out.
528
00:37:48,019 --> 00:37:51,147
And I was playing a part.
I was playing a... I was playing a...
529
00:37:51,189 --> 00:37:55,110
And then that...
That was worth feeling sorry for.
530
00:37:55,860 --> 00:37:57,821
How's Tracy?
531
00:37:58,488 --> 00:38:01,533
Married to me. Still.
532
00:38:02,158 --> 00:38:05,287
With the life of a young celebrity
that gets a lot of fame really fast,
533
00:38:05,912 --> 00:38:07,121
you don't know what's real.
534
00:38:07,163 --> 00:38:10,458
People taking pictures of... in my bushes
of me in the swimming pool.
535
00:38:10,500 --> 00:38:12,043
Walking down the street with a hat on
536
00:38:12,085 --> 00:38:15,672
and... and glasses
and down and... and hiding.
537
00:38:16,548 --> 00:38:18,341
It's all bullshit.
It's not the real stuff.
538
00:38:18,383 --> 00:38:20,760
- Big step right.
- No.
539
00:38:20,802 --> 00:38:23,221
Big step right. Good. Golf stance again.
540
00:38:25,807 --> 00:38:28,351
Good. This is the stuff
that we need to work on.
541
00:38:28,393 --> 00:38:31,104
Slowing down your thought process, right?
542
00:38:31,146 --> 00:38:33,815
- And this is the area that you need work.
- Yeah, I do.
543
00:38:33,857 --> 00:38:35,650
- So, it's slowing down.
- Yeah.
544
00:38:35,692 --> 00:38:38,945
Right? So, stand up, hit the golf stance.
In your heels.
545
00:38:39,446 --> 00:38:40,738
- Are you there?
- Yeah.
546
00:38:40,780 --> 00:38:43,408
Do that quarter step around the stool.
547
00:38:44,409 --> 00:38:46,328
Parkinson's was just a disaster.
548
00:38:47,329 --> 00:38:50,248
But... But, it... it's so real.
549
00:38:50,290 --> 00:38:52,876
When my arm would seize up
or my hand would twitch,
550
00:38:52,918 --> 00:38:54,753
that's real. It's... It's real.
551
00:38:55,337 --> 00:38:57,923
Turn. Make sure you're settled.
552
00:39:01,134 --> 00:39:02,552
Good. Make sure you're settled.
553
00:39:02,594 --> 00:39:05,013
You can't walk and you...
You can't go to the bathroom.
554
00:39:05,055 --> 00:39:06,890
I mean, that's... that's real.
555
00:39:06,932 --> 00:39:08,600
Slowly forward.
556
00:39:11,061 --> 00:39:14,105
Beautiful. Awesome. I know you can do it.
557
00:39:14,689 --> 00:39:16,149
- Oh, I can do it. That's the thing...
- Right?
558
00:39:16,191 --> 00:39:18,443
That's the thing that kills me,
is just that... that they're not...
559
00:39:18,485 --> 00:39:20,570
- The instant lack of control.
- Right.
560
00:39:20,612 --> 00:39:22,280
It's not like,
"I'm losing control, I'm losing control."
561
00:39:22,322 --> 00:39:23,865
- It's like, boom! I'm flying...
- So, that's what we...
562
00:39:23,907 --> 00:39:28,036
But that's what we always talk about is
that, your speed, because of who you are.
563
00:39:28,078 --> 00:39:31,289
- I wanna get it done. Yeah.
- Just slow it down, slow it down.
564
00:39:31,331 --> 00:39:35,335
Because you're athletic enough
to then have time to compensate
565
00:39:35,377 --> 00:39:38,463
- for something that goes wrong.
- Yeah, why dash when you can flush?
566
00:39:38,505 --> 00:39:41,090
Right. See? That was even better.
567
00:39:41,132 --> 00:39:44,219
Talking to you as a movie star
is different than talking to you as a TV...
568
00:39:44,261 --> 00:39:46,346
Well, I... I'm much...
I'm much more impressive now.
569
00:39:46,388 --> 00:39:48,973
Well, you are. Has... Has your life
changed because of this?
570
00:39:49,015 --> 00:39:50,183
Not really. Not really.
571
00:39:50,767 --> 00:39:52,352
- To Joan.
- To who?
572
00:39:52,394 --> 00:39:53,853
Joan. J-O-A-N.
573
00:39:54,688 --> 00:39:56,231
Whether it's signing an autograph
574
00:39:56,273 --> 00:39:58,441
or dashing off to your next interview,
575
00:39:58,483 --> 00:40:01,945
it's all part of selling Michael J. Fox
and the movie.
576
00:40:08,660 --> 00:40:10,912
His family must have
wondered how he'd turn out
577
00:40:10,954 --> 00:40:12,664
when he dropped out of high school.
578
00:40:13,164 --> 00:40:16,584
When we go down to visit him, we
try and spend our time with Michael and,
579
00:40:16,626 --> 00:40:20,338
uh, we'll go with him to...
To any such events that he wants us to.
580
00:40:20,380 --> 00:40:22,757
But, uh, no, we don't, uh...
581
00:40:23,258 --> 00:40:25,886
We don't get tied up in the show business
end of it all, really.
582
00:40:26,469 --> 00:40:28,638
In the backyard, he's just Mike Fox,
583
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,975
not the star,
Michael J. Fox people have come to know.
584
00:40:32,017 --> 00:40:35,562
He says trips home from Los Angeles
help keep his feet on the ground.
585
00:40:36,479 --> 00:40:39,316
They're not gonna let me get away
with being a... a... a jerk.
586
00:40:39,983 --> 00:40:41,263
Very quiet, please.
587
00:40:44,279 --> 00:40:47,991
I guess you could say I've always wanted
to excel, even... even as a small...
588
00:40:48,033 --> 00:40:51,828
No, no. Ready. Count me down again
will you, Andy? I gotta get...
589
00:40:51,870 --> 00:40:55,373
Five, four, three, two.
590
00:40:55,874 --> 00:40:58,394
I don't know, I guess you could say
I've always wanted to excel,
591
00:40:58,627 --> 00:40:59,836
even as a small boy.
592
00:41:00,712 --> 00:41:03,089
I mean, it-it wasn't the winning
that mattered to me...
593
00:41:05,175 --> 00:41:08,094
it-it was the pure enjoyment
of the competition.
594
00:41:09,471 --> 00:41:11,473
And I've always felt
that deep in my heart...
595
00:41:14,684 --> 00:41:17,229
Totally losing momentum.
Can we just start from the top?
596
00:41:17,896 --> 00:41:20,416
- Absolutely. Absolutely.
- Trying to get a kick on this.
597
00:41:21,358 --> 00:41:25,403
On the set of Family Ties,
I was welcomed back like the prodigal son.
598
00:41:26,071 --> 00:41:28,156
I was the star, after all.
599
00:41:28,198 --> 00:41:29,616
Mikey, you're gonna do this now?
600
00:41:29,658 --> 00:41:32,285
It just occurred to me,
it doesn't work over there.
601
00:41:32,327 --> 00:41:33,453
Does this bother you?
602
00:41:33,495 --> 00:41:35,622
- Does this screw you?
- Uh, no, we just gotta redo,
603
00:41:35,664 --> 00:41:36,998
uh, more shots.
604
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:38,499
- How many?
- Thirty-eight.
605
00:41:38,541 --> 00:41:41,169
And while I would have never dreamed
of lording it over anyone,
606
00:41:41,211 --> 00:41:43,880
the fact is, I could get away
with the most outrageous behavior.
607
00:41:43,922 --> 00:41:47,926
And so, I'm just trying to understand,
and say if that's... If, you know...
608
00:41:47,968 --> 00:41:51,179
If... If you have specific things
that... that are wrong,
609
00:41:51,221 --> 00:41:53,390
let me know because, at this point,
I'm confused.
610
00:41:54,724 --> 00:41:56,404
I was the "boy prince of Hollywood."
611
00:41:56,851 --> 00:42:00,146
I was big. I was bigger than bubble gum.
612
00:42:00,188 --> 00:42:02,273
You think it's made out of brick and rock,
but it's not.
613
00:42:02,315 --> 00:42:04,192
It's made out of paper and feathers.
614
00:42:05,277 --> 00:42:06,403
It's an illusion.
615
00:42:15,537 --> 00:42:16,437
Yes?
616
00:42:17,706 --> 00:42:22,544
Ah. Uh, Alex P. Keaton,
Sophomore Hospitality Committee.
617
00:42:22,586 --> 00:42:23,878
Congratulations.
618
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:29,718
Ah. No. Excuse me. Uh, do you mind
if I wait around here for a while?
619
00:42:30,343 --> 00:42:31,594
Yeah, I suppose.
620
00:42:31,636 --> 00:42:34,139
That's when Tracy Pollan
came into my world.
621
00:42:37,601 --> 00:42:38,935
Having trained in the New York theater,
622
00:42:38,977 --> 00:42:41,353
Tracy brought a grounded quality
to the work.
623
00:42:44,024 --> 00:42:46,483
Put that down.
Can't you see I'm painting that?
624
00:42:48,361 --> 00:42:51,614
It was in stark contrast
to my "just go for the laugh" approach.
625
00:42:51,656 --> 00:42:54,951
What do you call it? "Find the Apple"?
626
00:42:57,120 --> 00:42:59,372
I'd explain the concept
of abstract art to you,
627
00:42:59,414 --> 00:43:01,291
but I have a feeling
I'd be wasting my time.
628
00:43:02,709 --> 00:43:04,961
You were not the typical casting choice.
629
00:43:05,003 --> 00:43:08,214
You were not perky,
you were not a vacuous blonde,
630
00:43:08,256 --> 00:43:10,717
- you weren't a wiseacre kind of...
- Right.
631
00:43:10,759 --> 00:43:12,802
- Kind of person. You agree?
- I agree.
632
00:43:12,844 --> 00:43:15,638
I was actually very surprised
to be cast on the show.
633
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:19,142
I didn't... I don't know if I would
have cast me on the show.
634
00:43:19,184 --> 00:43:22,187
- Why did they? What was it about you...
- Well, I think that, um...
635
00:43:22,229 --> 00:43:24,147
That they wanted somebody who was
636
00:43:24,189 --> 00:43:27,943
very different from...
From the character of Alex.
637
00:43:28,443 --> 00:43:31,404
And, um... I think that they,
638
00:43:31,988 --> 00:43:34,199
I don't know, just saw something
different in me.
639
00:43:36,534 --> 00:43:38,536
One day we broke for lunch.
640
00:43:39,537 --> 00:43:41,665
Women, life, death, art.
641
00:43:45,752 --> 00:43:49,297
Places, please. Places for E.
Five, four, three...
642
00:43:49,339 --> 00:43:51,758
After lunch,
we picked up where we left off.
643
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:53,927
Here we go. Ready and action.
644
00:43:55,011 --> 00:43:57,138
I, uh, I... I got you something.
645
00:43:58,265 --> 00:43:59,182
You did?
646
00:43:59,808 --> 00:44:02,561
They were having a sale on Picassos.
647
00:44:04,437 --> 00:44:07,023
So, I got you one.
648
00:44:08,942 --> 00:44:11,736
This...
This was very sweet of you.
649
00:44:14,531 --> 00:44:17,200
The moment she said her first line,
I detected a hint of garlic
650
00:44:17,242 --> 00:44:20,120
and sensed an opportunity
to have a little fun at her expense.
651
00:44:20,996 --> 00:44:23,123
"Whoa, a little scampi for lunch, babe?"
652
00:44:24,749 --> 00:44:26,167
At first, she said nothing.
653
00:44:26,209 --> 00:44:27,919
Her expression didn't even change.
654
00:44:29,087 --> 00:44:31,298
But looking me dead in the eye,
she said slowly,
655
00:44:31,798 --> 00:44:36,845
"That was mean and rude, and you're
a complete and total fucking asshole."
656
00:44:45,562 --> 00:44:48,398
- Oh, hi, Ellen. Hey, are you ready to go?
- Hi. Yeah, let's go.
657
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:49,524
Okay.
658
00:44:51,026 --> 00:44:51,943
Yeah.
659
00:44:55,864 --> 00:44:57,490
Nobody talked to me that way.
660
00:44:59,367 --> 00:45:02,954
This woman was completely unintimidated
by whoever I thought I was.
661
00:45:03,705 --> 00:45:06,625
A pig is a pig no matter how many
hit movies he's just had.
662
00:45:08,877 --> 00:45:11,713
So, was she right? Were you a dick?
663
00:45:13,757 --> 00:45:15,467
I... I was... I was a bit of a dick.
664
00:45:18,762 --> 00:45:20,138
She was joking, but I didn't get it,
665
00:45:20,180 --> 00:45:22,348
because no one would ever joke
with me like that.
666
00:45:22,390 --> 00:45:24,184
I was not the butt of any jokes.
667
00:45:27,354 --> 00:45:29,898
And she just went,
"I'm gonna poke through that and get...
668
00:45:29,940 --> 00:45:33,359
You're... You're... You're
a scared little kid under this shit,
669
00:45:33,401 --> 00:45:35,654
and then I'll just...
I'll just call you out."
670
00:45:39,366 --> 00:45:41,660
In... In that moment,
I fell in love with her.
671
00:45:46,831 --> 00:45:47,625
All right.
672
00:45:47,667 --> 00:45:52,921
Let me just, uh, um, right, uh, just...
673
00:45:52,963 --> 00:45:54,171
Right.
674
00:45:55,257 --> 00:45:57,425
All right, okay, not bad.
675
00:45:57,467 --> 00:45:59,844
Just, uh, okay.
676
00:46:01,137 --> 00:46:03,390
All right, okay, yep. All right. Give me...
677
00:46:04,015 --> 00:46:05,016
Okay.
678
00:46:06,142 --> 00:46:07,769
There we go. Gently, gently.
679
00:46:09,104 --> 00:46:10,939
Ah.
680
00:46:12,232 --> 00:46:13,233
Piece of cake.
681
00:46:17,195 --> 00:46:19,030
Alex, I've never met anybody like you.
682
00:46:19,864 --> 00:46:23,702
I mean, it's like you have a way of seeing
right through me.
683
00:46:24,202 --> 00:46:26,246
I'm seeing a part of me that I-I-I don't...
684
00:46:26,288 --> 00:46:28,748
I don't even like to admit exists,
and that scares me.
685
00:46:35,213 --> 00:46:38,716
Then Tracy got a part in a film
I was about to shoot in Manhattan.
686
00:46:40,093 --> 00:46:41,636
We'd hang out on the set together.
687
00:46:41,678 --> 00:46:43,179
So, tell me about your job.
688
00:46:43,221 --> 00:46:44,848
I guess I'm supposed to be
pretty impressed, huh?
689
00:46:44,890 --> 00:46:46,057
Uh, don't be.
690
00:46:46,099 --> 00:46:49,769
She had a front-row seat
to view the whirlwind my life had become.
691
00:46:49,811 --> 00:46:52,022
Tracy appreciated the toll it was taking.
692
00:46:53,189 --> 00:46:54,732
The mistake would be to lose myself
693
00:46:54,774 --> 00:46:56,902
in the middle of the party
that was now my life.
694
00:46:59,863 --> 00:47:02,574
- You have my number, right?
- Right.
695
00:47:02,616 --> 00:47:03,742
You should call me.
696
00:47:04,826 --> 00:47:05,827
Yeah, I'd like to.
697
00:47:21,885 --> 00:47:24,762
- I love you.
- I love you too.
698
00:47:26,431 --> 00:47:29,768
Well... we love each other.
699
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:32,229
W-W-W-We said it, we know it.
700
00:47:33,813 --> 00:47:36,858
I mean, that's all that's important.
It doesn't matter what happens now.
701
00:47:39,486 --> 00:47:40,528
What happens now?
702
00:47:51,706 --> 00:47:54,167
- Look at this.
- Hold it up.
703
00:47:55,877 --> 00:48:01,132
It's funny you say... It said,
signed to Norm or Fred or something.
704
00:48:01,174 --> 00:48:06,720
Um. Yeah, I got it at, uh,
um, the Strand bookstore for a dollar.
705
00:48:07,639 --> 00:48:11,560
Once we got together, I just...
I was the most in love person. I still am.
706
00:48:12,143 --> 00:48:15,313
You need to answer. There's, like,
so many texts that you need to answer.
707
00:48:15,355 --> 00:48:17,481
- Yeah.
- You need to respond to that.
708
00:48:19,401 --> 00:48:21,277
And you need to resp... Wait.
709
00:48:21,319 --> 00:48:22,487
It gets better.
710
00:48:22,529 --> 00:48:25,156
This is four texts from Aquinnah
that you haven't responded to.
711
00:48:25,198 --> 00:48:26,366
I know, I tried to do it last night.
712
00:48:26,408 --> 00:48:28,493
- So just respond to that...
- Yeah.
713
00:48:28,535 --> 00:48:29,702
"Haven't seen you in a few days,
714
00:48:29,744 --> 00:48:31,746
- love you and miss you."
- And I can't wait to see you.
715
00:48:31,788 --> 00:48:33,122
- "Can't wait to see you."
- Let me see.
716
00:48:33,164 --> 00:48:36,042
Can't wait to see you.
Um. The beach awaits you.
717
00:48:37,335 --> 00:48:38,336
Okay.
718
00:48:40,672 --> 00:48:43,049
- "The beach awaits you"? No.
- Or something to that effect.
719
00:48:43,091 --> 00:48:44,926
Wait... Waiting for you on the beach.
720
00:48:44,968 --> 00:48:46,511
I can't wait to get on the beach with...
721
00:48:46,553 --> 00:48:48,388
Can't wait to hang out
on the beach with you.
722
00:48:48,430 --> 00:48:50,306
Can't wait to hang out at the beach
with you.
723
00:48:52,475 --> 00:48:54,394
Describe this human being to me.
724
00:49:03,069 --> 00:49:05,196
Clarity.
725
00:49:05,739 --> 00:49:09,159
- "Can't wait to see you. Love you."
- Uh, love you. That's it.
726
00:49:13,496 --> 00:49:17,417
I get a sense that she's no bullshit.
727
00:49:17,918 --> 00:49:20,378
No, no, no. No bullshit.
728
00:49:20,420 --> 00:49:23,882
Who she is is just so locked in
'cause it's so honest.
729
00:49:23,924 --> 00:49:26,676
I could be the king of England
and she would be her.
730
00:49:27,302 --> 00:49:30,597
I could be... I could be, uh, Elvis
and she would be her.
731
00:49:30,639 --> 00:49:32,959
You know what, you could put
a little bit of this in there.
732
00:49:33,475 --> 00:49:36,311
- Okay, mush it now. I'll hold the bowl.
- It's really hard.
733
00:49:36,353 --> 00:49:38,753
- It's kind of hurting my hand.
- I can't even hold the bowl.
734
00:49:40,732 --> 00:49:44,027
When I'm with my family,
there's no sentimental line with them.
735
00:49:44,069 --> 00:49:46,571
There's no "Poor baby. Oh...
736
00:49:46,613 --> 00:49:48,990
...I feel your pain, I feel so bad for you.
737
00:49:49,032 --> 00:49:50,783
You're a saint among men, and, uh"...
738
00:49:50,825 --> 00:49:52,744
That would be the worst thing
they could do to me.
739
00:49:52,786 --> 00:49:54,120
- Wait. Can I just tell you...
- What?
740
00:49:54,162 --> 00:49:55,413
I was just having a conversation.
741
00:49:55,455 --> 00:49:56,789
If you look through his phone,
742
00:49:56,831 --> 00:50:00,251
it's just, like, a million texts
that are never answered.
743
00:50:00,293 --> 00:50:03,796
Yeah, it's just me,
like, a bunch of times, like...
744
00:50:03,838 --> 00:50:05,465
- Asking questions?
- Every two weeks, I... No.
745
00:50:05,507 --> 00:50:08,718
I'm just like, "Are you okay?
Like, sending so much love. Heart, heart."
746
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:10,887
- And then no response. And then...
- And no response.
747
00:50:10,929 --> 00:50:12,430
But then about a week after, like,
748
00:50:12,472 --> 00:50:14,807
one of my, like,
"Love you so much, hope you're okay."
749
00:50:14,849 --> 00:50:17,352
It's this, like, really nice,
but just so random,
750
00:50:17,394 --> 00:50:20,646
he said, "I hope you are happy
with all your decisions."
751
00:50:22,691 --> 00:50:24,276
Okay, thanks.
752
00:50:25,193 --> 00:50:26,945
- It's good. Natural.
- You're a natural, Pops.
753
00:50:26,987 --> 00:50:28,655
- What are you doing?
- You should think about
754
00:50:28,697 --> 00:50:29,864
doing this for a job.
755
00:50:29,906 --> 00:50:33,159
You know, you just turned into
a fortune cookie.
756
00:50:35,579 --> 00:50:36,955
When I answer, I go to a simple,
757
00:50:36,997 --> 00:50:38,748
"Hey, I love you too. Thinking about you.
How's it going?"
758
00:50:38,790 --> 00:50:40,792
- But you don't say it.
- I know, because it comes out...
759
00:50:40,834 --> 00:50:44,170
- It comes out...
- You know, also...
760
00:50:44,212 --> 00:50:46,005
And then I go in and I'm, like...
So then I think,
761
00:50:46,047 --> 00:50:48,258
"Well, this isn't working out.
I'll do the... push the buttons."
762
00:50:48,300 --> 00:50:50,301
- Then I get some website in China.
- Yeah.
763
00:50:59,811 --> 00:51:01,312
Pregnant one month after the wedding,
764
00:51:01,354 --> 00:51:02,814
Tracy found herself with a husband...
765
00:51:02,856 --> 00:51:03,857
Action!
766
00:51:04,608 --> 00:51:06,192
Michael!
767
00:51:06,234 --> 00:51:08,111
...who, when he wasn't away on a job,
768
00:51:09,070 --> 00:51:11,615
was little more than
a narcoleptic Lamaze partner.
769
00:51:15,869 --> 00:51:16,995
Michael.
770
00:51:23,168 --> 00:51:25,253
This kid loves these horses.
771
00:51:30,425 --> 00:51:31,843
A vicious ride.
772
00:51:43,063 --> 00:51:45,064
How's the family?
Give me the whole report of how...
773
00:51:45,106 --> 00:51:47,233
- How being a dad is.
- Being a dad is great.
774
00:51:47,275 --> 00:51:50,111
I'm sure that, you know, all the dads
out there know it's real cool.
775
00:51:50,153 --> 00:51:52,489
He's... My son is, uh... O-Our son.
776
00:51:52,989 --> 00:51:55,158
Uh, boy, I didn't do half the work.
777
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:57,535
How are you doing
balancing the family and the work?
778
00:51:57,577 --> 00:51:58,745
You're still pretty much a workaholic.
779
00:51:58,787 --> 00:52:01,873
Michael! Michael! Michael!
780
00:52:03,500 --> 00:52:06,002
The rush that was my life then,
meant my bride...
781
00:52:08,088 --> 00:52:10,549
was wondering what in the hell
she'd gotten herself into.
782
00:52:11,633 --> 00:52:13,593
Tracy, did you miss Michael the last year?
783
00:52:13,635 --> 00:52:15,887
Yeah. It's good to have him home again.
784
00:52:15,929 --> 00:52:19,558
- She's got a tiny version of me at home.
- Yeah, I got a miniature version of him...
785
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:21,768
Inside of a year,
786
00:52:21,810 --> 00:52:25,855
an exquisitely talented, 20-something
actress had become a single mother...
787
00:52:25,897 --> 00:52:28,691
It's about being content with who you are
and being content with your family
788
00:52:28,733 --> 00:52:31,652
and, you know, loving yourself
and loving the people around you.
789
00:52:34,030 --> 00:52:35,630
...while I was still free to work.
790
00:52:41,830 --> 00:52:44,916
Here I was, shooting my fifth film
in less than three years.
791
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:48,753
But it was a sheltered, narrow existence.
792
00:52:48,795 --> 00:52:50,546
He's a chickenshit, man.
793
00:52:51,715 --> 00:52:53,799
Fueled by fear and isolation.
794
00:52:57,012 --> 00:53:00,390
Actors don't become actors because
they're brimming with self-confidence.
795
00:53:00,432 --> 00:53:02,100
Hey, good morning, Mr. Eastwood.
796
00:53:02,684 --> 00:53:05,728
An actor's burning ambition
is to spend as much time as possible
797
00:53:05,770 --> 00:53:07,439
pretending to be somebody else.
798
00:53:08,064 --> 00:53:10,942
I think you ain't nothing
but a gutless yellow turd!
799
00:53:12,402 --> 00:53:15,905
For those of us lucky or unstable
enough to become professional performers...
800
00:53:15,947 --> 00:53:17,532
Who the hell do you think you are?
801
00:53:17,574 --> 00:53:20,619
...the uncertainty about who we really are
only increases.
802
00:53:21,119 --> 00:53:22,495
And you.
803
00:53:22,537 --> 00:53:23,621
Gnawing at you always...
804
00:53:23,663 --> 00:53:25,415
You I don't know about.
805
00:53:25,457 --> 00:53:29,002
...is the belief that you're a fake.
A phony.
806
00:53:29,544 --> 00:53:31,879
I hate your movies.
807
00:53:35,217 --> 00:53:37,385
What is a typical,
if there is such a thing,
808
00:53:37,427 --> 00:53:40,263
day in the life of
Michael and Tracy and Sam?
809
00:53:40,305 --> 00:53:42,974
I get up and go to work,
I come home and everybody is asleep.
810
00:53:43,016 --> 00:53:45,560
That's about it.
811
00:53:53,401 --> 00:53:56,029
Dad hadn't been feeling well
for the last month or so.
812
00:54:08,124 --> 00:54:10,001
"My father had been rushed
to the hospital.
813
00:54:11,336 --> 00:54:14,047
Dad hadn't been feeling well
for the last month or so.
814
00:54:14,548 --> 00:54:18,009
His heart gave out first,
then his kidneys began to fail.
815
00:54:19,928 --> 00:54:25,141
I couldn't know that day in 1990
that I was stepping across a threshold."
816
00:54:26,601 --> 00:54:27,602
Sorry.
817
00:54:33,483 --> 00:54:36,486
Stuff like that just hits you like a...
You're going through this stuff and you...
818
00:54:36,528 --> 00:54:39,197
Something like that pops out
and you're so, like... like...
819
00:54:40,782 --> 00:54:44,869
Like that's... that's three sentences
and, like, 10,000 pounds of stuff.
820
00:54:50,333 --> 00:54:51,773
What was the threshold?
821
00:54:53,086 --> 00:54:56,006
Threshold was adulthood. Like, real shit.
822
00:55:01,636 --> 00:55:02,762
Life.
823
00:55:10,478 --> 00:55:13,440
For Christ's sake, Mike.
It's just your freaking finger.
824
00:55:14,107 --> 00:55:15,275
But that was the problem.
825
00:55:15,901 --> 00:55:18,695
It wasn't mine. It was somebody else's.
826
00:55:46,181 --> 00:55:48,850
The most paranoid fantasy I could
think of would not have prepared me
827
00:55:48,892 --> 00:55:52,062
for the two words the neurologist
bludgeoned me with that day.
828
00:55:55,190 --> 00:55:56,483
Parkinson's disease.
829
00:56:01,613 --> 00:56:04,115
And I said,
"You know who you're talking to, right?
830
00:56:04,616 --> 00:56:09,788
You know, I'm, like, not someone
who is supposed to get this."
831
00:56:12,999 --> 00:56:14,626
He handed me a pamphlet.
832
00:56:16,211 --> 00:56:19,798
Which one had the incurable brain disease
was not clear, they both looked happy.
833
00:56:22,717 --> 00:56:26,805
He said some more words like,
"progressive," "degenerative,"
834
00:56:28,098 --> 00:56:29,099
"incurable."
835
00:56:30,809 --> 00:56:34,646
He said, "You... You... You lose this...
You lose this game. You don't win this."
836
00:56:45,532 --> 00:56:48,535
I remember standing on the street looking
for... an answer.
837
00:56:50,537 --> 00:56:52,747
It's just... I just...
My world blew up.
838
00:56:56,376 --> 00:56:57,919
I should have seen it coming,
839
00:56:59,004 --> 00:57:01,673
the cosmic price I had to pay
for all my success.
840
00:57:05,260 --> 00:57:06,887
I told Tracy the news.
841
00:57:11,725 --> 00:57:14,144
"In sickness and in health,"
I remember her whispering.
842
00:57:23,820 --> 00:57:25,947
Now totally relax with the head.
843
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:30,285
Okay, that's good. Yeah.
Now, look at my finger. Open up.
844
00:57:30,327 --> 00:57:31,411
Look over here.
845
00:57:32,454 --> 00:57:34,915
Yeah. Up, up, up. That's good.
846
00:57:37,459 --> 00:57:38,460
Go like this.
847
00:57:39,419 --> 00:57:40,753
Oh, you're good. Excellent.
848
00:57:40,795 --> 00:57:43,089
- Actually, that's very strong. Hold on.
- I'm a strong man.
849
00:57:43,131 --> 00:57:45,216
- You're a strong man.
- Very strong.
850
00:57:45,258 --> 00:57:47,427
So, you were getting dressed,
you were in a hurry,
851
00:57:47,469 --> 00:57:49,387
you went smack into the headboard?
852
00:57:49,429 --> 00:57:51,097
- Headboard. Yeah.
- Okay.
853
00:57:51,139 --> 00:57:54,434
So, when did you dislocate the shoulder?
854
00:57:54,476 --> 00:57:56,060
- Around the same time?
- Around the same time.
855
00:57:56,102 --> 00:57:59,105
It all happened in the...
It was like a festival of self-abuse.
856
00:57:59,147 --> 00:58:01,274
- You can do a tour of my house.
- Okay.
857
00:58:01,316 --> 00:58:03,484
- It's almost all in the same spot.
- What's it matter?
858
00:58:03,526 --> 00:58:05,236
Okay, so squeeze my hand.
859
00:58:05,278 --> 00:58:06,863
- How does that feel?
- Feels all right.
860
00:58:06,905 --> 00:58:07,989
I think we're gonna be fine.
861
00:58:08,031 --> 00:58:09,365
- You're gonna be fine?
- Yeah.
862
00:58:09,407 --> 00:58:11,034
They're not gonna have to
amputate anything or...
863
00:58:11,076 --> 00:58:12,493
- No, no. My head.
- Okay. Good.
864
00:58:12,535 --> 00:58:14,036
- Your head?
- My head, yeah.
865
00:58:15,413 --> 00:58:16,372
Okay.
866
00:58:16,414 --> 00:58:18,291
Tracy's the smartest person I know.
867
00:58:18,792 --> 00:58:20,835
She's learned to deal with a lot of stuff.
868
00:58:20,877 --> 00:58:23,838
How frustrating it must be
to have to bear the burden
869
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:25,632
of something that isn't her burden.
870
00:58:26,132 --> 00:58:28,176
It's my burden, but she shares it with me.
871
00:58:28,218 --> 00:58:30,887
She not only shares it with me,
she takes on more than I take on.
872
00:58:30,929 --> 00:58:34,098
So, you take the first round
while you're still in bed?
873
00:58:34,140 --> 00:58:35,934
- No, out of bed.
- Out of bed. Okay.
874
00:58:36,685 --> 00:58:39,395
- Sometimes Michael likes to hold that off...
- Yeah.
875
00:58:39,437 --> 00:58:41,690
...if he's got something
that he needs to do.
876
00:58:42,482 --> 00:58:46,111
He thinks if he waits,
it's gonna kick in stronger and better.
877
00:58:46,611 --> 00:58:48,363
Everything I go through,
she's gone through.
878
00:58:48,405 --> 00:58:51,116
And then I have to try to figure out
how to make it work.
879
00:58:51,616 --> 00:58:54,119
Like, I just have to feel it
and then... and live it.
880
00:58:55,912 --> 00:58:57,747
I can walk a little bit though. Like that.
881
00:58:58,665 --> 00:59:00,208
She has to make it work.
882
00:59:00,709 --> 00:59:02,377
- I'm walking, honey.
- You are.
883
00:59:04,713 --> 00:59:06,464
- Good job.
- I know.
884
00:59:06,506 --> 00:59:08,550
- Is that this way?
- Yeah.
885
00:59:13,096 --> 00:59:14,556
Slow down a little. Okay.
886
00:59:25,901 --> 00:59:27,569
I clung to fantasies of escape.
887
00:59:31,489 --> 00:59:33,867
That somehow my diagnosis
would turn out to be a mistake.
888
00:59:38,455 --> 00:59:40,248
I was in my late 20s.
889
00:59:41,041 --> 00:59:44,252
How could I possibly
have this old person's disease?
890
00:59:45,670 --> 00:59:48,131
Symptoms include muscular rigidity,
891
00:59:48,173 --> 00:59:50,592
slowness and poverty of
movements and tremor,
892
00:59:52,552 --> 00:59:55,555
diminished blinking, and reduced
spontaneity of facial expression.
893
00:59:58,725 --> 01:00:02,562
I thought my diminished blinking and
reduced spontaneity of facial expression
894
01:00:02,604 --> 01:00:04,772
marked a growing comfort
in front of the camera.
895
01:00:04,814 --> 01:00:06,441
Less mugging, hamming it up.
896
01:00:07,567 --> 01:00:10,528
No, you weren't getting better.
Just sicker.
897
01:00:11,947 --> 01:00:15,200
What advice would you give to someone
that has the disease?
898
01:00:15,242 --> 01:00:18,703
The main thing is, is to be truthful,
first, with yourself.
899
01:00:18,745 --> 01:00:22,873
Here's Johnny.
900
01:00:37,681 --> 01:00:42,227
With no obvious cue, my left hand
would begin shaking uncontrollably.
901
01:00:44,312 --> 01:00:46,231
Now, anyway, let's move.
We've got a great show tonight.
902
01:00:46,273 --> 01:00:47,898
Mr. Michael J. Fox is with us.
903
01:00:49,609 --> 01:00:52,404
I had my internist prescribe PD meds.
904
01:00:56,074 --> 01:00:59,077
Sinemet is taken up by the brain
and changed into dopamine,
905
01:00:59,828 --> 01:01:02,747
the neurotransmitter that a Parkinson's
patient can no longer produce
906
01:01:02,789 --> 01:01:04,040
in sufficient quantities.
907
01:01:05,458 --> 01:01:07,210
Anyway,
I'm glad Michael Fox is here tonight.
908
01:01:07,252 --> 01:01:09,253
He's a most-talented young man, and, uh...
909
01:01:11,923 --> 01:01:13,465
Would you welcome Michael J. Fox?
910
01:01:18,805 --> 01:01:20,640
Therapeutic value, even comfort,
911
01:01:20,682 --> 01:01:22,934
none of these was the reason
I took these pills.
912
01:01:23,643 --> 01:01:24,936
There was only one reason.
913
01:01:27,063 --> 01:01:27,857
Yeah.
914
01:01:27,899 --> 01:01:28,815
To hide.
915
01:01:33,153 --> 01:01:35,113
I carried the pills around
loose and broken
916
01:01:35,155 --> 01:01:37,365
in the pockets of my shirts and trousers.
917
01:01:40,285 --> 01:01:41,536
Like Halloween Smarties.
918
01:01:47,709 --> 01:01:51,046
Parkinsonian tremor occurs
when the affected limb is at rest.
919
01:01:52,339 --> 01:01:55,926
I was able to mask the trembling
by twiddling an object in my left hand.
920
01:01:58,803 --> 01:02:01,139
Day after day, for hours on end.
921
01:02:02,307 --> 01:02:04,392
Uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh...
922
01:02:07,229 --> 01:02:08,521
Sir, I-I can't hear you.
923
01:02:08,563 --> 01:02:11,065
There's s... There's some kind of
a... a ruckus outside.
924
01:02:11,107 --> 01:02:13,193
Um, can I... can I call you back?
925
01:02:13,902 --> 01:02:17,155
I never gave a second's thought
to sharing my diagnosis with anyone.
926
01:02:18,031 --> 01:02:18,931
I had work to do.
927
01:02:20,367 --> 01:02:24,120
And I intended to pretend as if
none of this was actually happening to me.
928
01:02:25,664 --> 01:02:27,749
You can't do this to people.
929
01:02:27,791 --> 01:02:31,878
You can't l... lie and fake and manipulate.
I won't accept that.
930
01:02:34,631 --> 01:02:39,261
Just this once,
I'm gonna let you off with a warning.
931
01:02:42,514 --> 01:02:46,100
I like guys that are a little
too smart for their own good.
932
01:02:46,142 --> 01:02:49,187
You know, master manipulators who think
they're manipulating everybody else,
933
01:02:50,855 --> 01:02:52,899
but are, in a way,
kind of manipulating themselves
934
01:02:52,941 --> 01:02:54,776
into a situation they can't control.
935
01:02:57,070 --> 01:02:59,781
I became a virtuoso
at manipulating drug intake...
936
01:03:05,453 --> 01:03:08,122
so that I'd peak
at exactly the right time and place.
937
01:03:16,131 --> 01:03:17,132
I need more pills.
938
01:03:19,968 --> 01:03:21,594
You wanna take a break?
939
01:03:21,636 --> 01:03:26,224
Well, I mean, I should've stopped
ten minutes ago 'cause I need more pills.
940
01:03:30,687 --> 01:03:32,927
- It'll just take two minutes.
- Yeah, yeah.
941
01:03:36,443 --> 01:03:39,083
You take the pill, then you're waiting.
And what does it feel like?
942
01:03:41,323 --> 01:03:43,908
Like waiting... I always say
waiting for a bus. Waiting for the bus.
943
01:03:43,950 --> 01:03:46,035
People will say, "What are you doing?"
I say, "I'm waiting for the bus."
944
01:03:46,077 --> 01:03:47,329
And they know what I mean.
945
01:03:52,042 --> 01:03:54,085
Yeah, it's kicking in now. It's nice.
946
01:03:54,127 --> 01:03:56,171
Today's a quick-quick...
Quick kick-in today.
947
01:03:56,213 --> 01:04:00,884
I'm a little... still a little mumble
mouth, but... but, um... but I feel good.
948
01:04:00,926 --> 01:04:02,594
I feel... still.
949
01:04:02,636 --> 01:04:04,637
So, you're still waiting
for the bus, or you're on the bus?
950
01:04:04,679 --> 01:04:07,139
No, I'm on the bus.
I'm putting in... money in the thing.
951
01:04:11,019 --> 01:04:14,397
It's a great release. It's just, like,
you pour into the form that is you.
952
01:04:15,273 --> 01:04:18,443
That-That-That you...
It gets filled with-with-with you again.
953
01:04:20,278 --> 01:04:21,488
Rolling, rolling.
954
01:04:22,072 --> 01:04:23,073
Speed.
955
01:04:25,367 --> 01:04:26,409
My body ached.
956
01:04:27,244 --> 01:04:28,245
Playback.
957
01:04:29,537 --> 01:04:32,332
I had been contorting it
into intensely uncomfortable positions
958
01:04:32,374 --> 01:04:34,209
in order to mask the tremors.
959
01:04:34,251 --> 01:04:35,460
Okay, marker.
960
01:04:42,425 --> 01:04:43,885
Okay, play again.
961
01:04:45,762 --> 01:04:48,640
I see "R-E-C."
962
01:04:49,224 --> 01:04:51,851
Yeah, that's..."record."
963
01:04:51,893 --> 01:04:53,645
My appetite was nonexistent.
964
01:04:54,563 --> 01:04:57,273
And I used that excuse
to avoid joining my family for dinner.
965
01:05:00,026 --> 01:05:03,738
I thought that by thinking about
Parkinson's, I was hastening its arrival.
966
01:05:13,248 --> 01:05:14,791
Instead, I drank to disassociate.
967
01:05:17,669 --> 01:05:19,004
To escape my situation.
968
01:05:23,758 --> 01:05:25,343
Parkinson's, it was hide-the-bottle time.
969
01:05:25,385 --> 01:05:27,178
It was...
Like, I had bottles stashed in the garage,
970
01:05:27,220 --> 01:05:29,556
and...
And-and I'd open two bottles of wine,
971
01:05:29,598 --> 01:05:32,718
and Tracy would think we just drank one,
she didn't know I drank the other one.
972
01:05:35,520 --> 01:05:39,232
And I started to have a... a margarita
before the last take.
973
01:05:39,274 --> 01:05:40,566
Jack Daniel's, rocks, please.
974
01:05:42,152 --> 01:05:44,612
For Love or Money, with Michael J. Fox,
starts out great
975
01:05:44,654 --> 01:05:46,990
and then gets all soft.
Regretfully though, thumbs-down.
976
01:05:47,032 --> 01:05:49,910
With me, it isn't even a close call.
It's definitely thumbs-down.
977
01:05:51,036 --> 01:05:52,316
And then things started to slip.
978
01:05:55,957 --> 01:05:58,293
Life with Mikey
doesn't tell much of a story.
979
01:05:58,335 --> 01:06:01,421
I sat there wondering why Michael J. Fox
seemed to be without a clue
980
01:06:01,463 --> 01:06:03,173
in a lot of his big scenes.
981
01:06:05,467 --> 01:06:07,760
And here's another movie
that loses its way.
982
01:06:07,802 --> 01:06:08,970
Greedy.
983
01:06:09,012 --> 01:06:10,852
Michael J. Fox fell for that old trap.
984
01:06:11,973 --> 01:06:14,184
They wanna play characters
who are really likable.
985
01:06:14,226 --> 01:06:15,768
- Why not play nasty?
- I agree. Yeah.
986
01:06:15,810 --> 01:06:19,105
Make 'em hateful. People love you
when you play hateful characters.
987
01:06:19,606 --> 01:06:20,481
Nicky!
988
01:06:20,523 --> 01:06:22,775
It's crap, Angie. It's crap.
989
01:06:22,817 --> 01:06:24,569
It's another big-budget, big-box-office,
990
01:06:24,611 --> 01:06:27,530
in-one-end, out-the-other,
easy-to-flush piece of crap.
991
01:06:27,572 --> 01:06:29,657
I was sullen and angry.
992
01:06:29,699 --> 01:06:32,911
There was one thing in a store.
This guy stepped in front of me.
993
01:06:32,953 --> 01:06:35,205
And I said,
"Excuse me. What am I, fucking invisible?"
994
01:06:35,247 --> 01:06:36,873
And he goes, "Yeah, you're invisible."
995
01:06:36,915 --> 01:06:39,459
And I grabbed his shirt,
and I said, "Fuck you, man.
996
01:06:39,501 --> 01:06:41,336
I'll take you outside
and take your head off."
997
01:06:41,836 --> 01:06:45,381
And-And I said, "I'd love nothing more,
today, than-than to take your head off."
998
01:06:45,423 --> 01:06:47,884
And he just backed off, and they all
went white and they walked out.
999
01:06:47,926 --> 01:06:49,427
I said, "I can be that guy."
1000
01:06:52,055 --> 01:06:54,575
I didn't know what was happening.
I didn't know what was coming.
1001
01:06:56,893 --> 01:06:59,270
So, what if I could just
have four glasses of wine
1002
01:06:59,312 --> 01:07:01,815
and a... and-and m-maybe a shot?
1003
01:07:02,566 --> 01:07:05,726
- So, were you an alcoholic?
- Yeah, I was definitely an alcoholic.
1004
01:07:09,322 --> 01:07:12,117
But I've gone 30 years
without having a drink.
1005
01:07:14,411 --> 01:07:16,705
What is the core of that behavior?
1006
01:07:17,330 --> 01:07:18,690
The core of that behavior is fear.
1007
01:07:23,003 --> 01:07:25,589
There was an urgency, an edge,
to that night's partying.
1008
01:07:26,464 --> 01:07:29,704
We were on our third pitcher of margaritas
by the time the director called "Wrap."
1009
01:07:41,771 --> 01:07:44,065
Oh, God.
1010
01:07:46,151 --> 01:07:49,613
I saw feet. Tracy's feet.
1011
01:07:50,113 --> 01:07:52,574
The feet had on shoes.
Shit. What time was it?
1012
01:07:55,785 --> 01:07:57,662
I found no expression of rage.
1013
01:07:58,455 --> 01:08:00,874
She was meeting my sorry state
with indifference.
1014
01:08:03,710 --> 01:08:05,837
"Is this what you want?" she said.
1015
01:08:07,339 --> 01:08:08,756
"This is what you wanna be?"
1016
01:08:12,469 --> 01:08:14,909
Okay, Michael, Tracy,
turn your head, please.
1017
01:08:15,889 --> 01:08:18,183
I'd never been so frightened in my life.
1018
01:08:18,225 --> 01:08:21,937
Tracy. Tracy! Tracy!
1019
01:08:22,853 --> 01:08:25,190
Tracy, Tracy! Tracy, Tracy! Tracy!
1020
01:08:36,534 --> 01:08:38,328
The bathtub became my refuge.
1021
01:08:40,371 --> 01:08:43,375
Day after day, for hours at a time.
1022
01:08:45,794 --> 01:08:48,505
I just wanted to keep my head below water.
1023
01:08:49,005 --> 01:08:51,216
I needed to suffer.
I needed to go as low as I could go.
1024
01:08:59,139 --> 01:09:02,352
All I could hear
was the muted splash of my trembling hand.
1025
01:09:06,147 --> 01:09:08,191
But as low as alcohol had brought me,
1026
01:09:09,859 --> 01:09:11,527
abstinence would bring me lower.
1027
01:09:17,325 --> 01:09:19,244
I could no longer escape myself.
1028
01:09:23,790 --> 01:09:26,585
My first few years of sobriety
were like a knife fight in a closet.
1029
01:09:28,503 --> 01:09:29,703
What's the knife?
1030
01:09:31,130 --> 01:09:32,382
The truth.
1031
01:09:34,174 --> 01:09:36,928
Truth. I wasn't facing things.
1032
01:09:44,018 --> 01:09:46,438
I just wanted to be out of the world.
1033
01:09:47,897 --> 01:09:50,691
And I wanted to be in another place,
doing another thing.
1034
01:09:59,326 --> 01:10:01,870
I ran away and did movies
in other parts of the world.
1035
01:10:03,788 --> 01:10:06,458
Can't pretend at home
that you don't have Parkinson's...
1036
01:10:09,294 --> 01:10:11,004
because you're just there with it.
1037
01:10:12,047 --> 01:10:14,447
If I'm out in the world,
and I'm dealing with other people...
1038
01:10:16,468 --> 01:10:19,596
and they don't know I have it,
then I don't have it.
1039
01:10:21,765 --> 01:10:23,892
But Tracy was really having a hard time
1040
01:10:23,934 --> 01:10:26,228
and really was
getting to the end of her rope.
1041
01:10:31,900 --> 01:10:34,068
Because now we had twins.
1042
01:10:37,239 --> 01:10:38,740
Aquinnah and Schuyler.
1043
01:10:41,409 --> 01:10:42,911
And I get back to my family.
1044
01:10:43,536 --> 01:10:45,747
Sam was...
...happy I was home, but mad at me.
1045
01:10:45,789 --> 01:10:49,959
Mom, I'm gonna try...
1046
01:10:50,001 --> 01:10:51,211
It's time.
1047
01:10:53,630 --> 01:10:54,631
So, what do I do?
1048
01:10:57,842 --> 01:10:59,802
- Left turn.
- I think it's wobbling.
1049
01:10:59,844 --> 01:11:02,514
You got it though.
You got it, you got it. You own it.
1050
01:11:02,556 --> 01:11:05,683
You're on it. You're on it. Go, go, go.
Keep going. Go, go, go.
1051
01:11:05,725 --> 01:11:06,977
I made up my mind.
1052
01:11:17,612 --> 01:11:19,092
I was going home to television.
1053
01:11:20,073 --> 01:11:23,868
And I thought, "Yeah, there's nothing like
to walk out into... into a set
1054
01:11:23,910 --> 01:11:26,579
and drop a line
and have them go fucking crazy."
1055
01:11:26,621 --> 01:11:30,166
I just figured, since the Daily News
says we were seen eating dinner,
1056
01:11:30,208 --> 01:11:31,585
we might as well do it.
1057
01:11:32,210 --> 01:11:35,004
You know, the Post,
uh, says we're sleeping together.
1058
01:11:36,673 --> 01:11:39,033
- Did you get the last approval ratings?
- Right here, Mike.
1059
01:11:39,509 --> 01:11:43,638
The reviews were terrific,
and ratings suggested long-term success.
1060
01:11:45,015 --> 01:11:46,016
Whee!
1061
01:11:47,976 --> 01:11:50,854
With schedules that meshed perfectly
with the rhythms of my family.
1062
01:11:50,896 --> 01:11:52,147
Schuyler, walk to me.
1063
01:11:57,110 --> 01:11:59,070
And the situation was near perfect.
1064
01:11:59,112 --> 01:12:00,989
It's called "Spin." Power of persuasion.
1065
01:12:01,031 --> 01:12:03,116
Making people believe
what I want them to believe.
1066
01:12:03,158 --> 01:12:04,742
It's what I do. It is my gift.
1067
01:12:04,784 --> 01:12:05,869
You were amazing.
1068
01:12:05,911 --> 01:12:07,662
Yeah, n-no problem.
1069
01:12:07,704 --> 01:12:10,873
It was, uh...
It was fun pretending.
1070
01:12:16,004 --> 01:12:17,881
All right, the mayor prepared
to speak about the strike?
1071
01:12:17,923 --> 01:12:19,163
I worked on it all night, Mike.
1072
01:12:20,717 --> 01:12:23,397
All right, sir. We're, uh...
We're going on earlier than we thought.
1073
01:12:28,391 --> 01:12:31,686
The stress with doing a weekly show
in front of a studio audience
1074
01:12:33,063 --> 01:12:34,814
was exacerbating my symptoms.
1075
01:12:35,857 --> 01:12:38,026
The whole of my left arm
would be tremoring,
1076
01:12:39,444 --> 01:12:41,446
forceful enough to shake my entire body.
1077
01:12:43,573 --> 01:12:44,949
It would just twist you.
1078
01:12:44,991 --> 01:12:46,868
Then I'd lie on the floor
twisting and waiting,
1079
01:12:46,910 --> 01:12:49,470
and I'd have an audience outside
waiting for me to go do a scene.
1080
01:12:52,165 --> 01:12:55,710
I could not only hear their...
Their feet shuffling, I could feel them.
1081
01:13:00,549 --> 01:13:02,217
Please, join us.
1082
01:13:02,259 --> 01:13:04,469
All the while, I was doing the math.
1083
01:13:05,095 --> 01:13:08,640
How long since the last pill?
How long until it wears off?
1084
01:13:10,392 --> 01:13:11,476
If the warning came
1085
01:13:11,518 --> 01:13:13,895
when I was in the middle of
a four-to five-minute scene,
1086
01:13:14,396 --> 01:13:17,524
there wasn't anything I could do
to stave off the return of my symptoms.
1087
01:13:20,360 --> 01:13:24,322
Fred, Joe,
pleasure to see you guys, as always.
1088
01:13:24,364 --> 01:13:25,323
I was just thinking...
1089
01:13:29,411 --> 01:13:32,289
And still,
no one outside of my family knew.
1090
01:13:34,916 --> 01:13:36,375
I'm living a lie.
1091
01:13:37,878 --> 01:13:40,338
Can't go on with this.
This has gotta stop.
1092
01:13:44,634 --> 01:13:48,179
You start to feel people looking at you,
1093
01:13:48,805 --> 01:13:51,308
staring, judging,
1094
01:13:52,767 --> 01:13:55,604
gazing into the very recesses
of your soul.
1095
01:13:57,188 --> 01:13:59,899
- Yeah, speed.
- Roll cameras.
1096
01:14:10,952 --> 01:14:11,911
We're ready, Michael.
1097
01:14:11,953 --> 01:14:13,872
- Wait, how's that?
- Good.
1098
01:14:13,914 --> 01:14:14,998
Here we go.
1099
01:14:30,680 --> 01:14:33,183
To me, the worst thing is restraint,
1100
01:14:33,225 --> 01:14:38,730
and the worst thing is... is to be confined
and-and not be able to have a way out.
1101
01:14:39,773 --> 01:14:42,253
And there were times when I went,
"There's no way out of this."
1102
01:14:48,907 --> 01:14:51,368
I'd spruce up the walls
with fist-sized holes.
1103
01:15:09,928 --> 01:15:11,805
You're only as sick as your secrets.
1104
01:15:16,393 --> 01:15:19,229
If you feel comfortable,
you can let go of the bar.
1105
01:15:19,271 --> 01:15:22,941
If you don't, try and keep the pressure
off that right hand.
1106
01:15:24,192 --> 01:15:25,193
Good. I'm here.
1107
01:15:26,194 --> 01:15:28,279
Good. Move your right foot
to the right a little bit.
1108
01:15:28,321 --> 01:15:30,240
Even more. There you go.
1109
01:15:30,282 --> 01:15:31,324
So, what happened?
1110
01:15:31,366 --> 01:15:32,492
Let's see if you can stay here.
1111
01:15:32,534 --> 01:15:33,952
I fucking hurt myself again.
1112
01:15:36,955 --> 01:15:39,165
I tripped over a carpet,
and I broke my hand,
1113
01:15:39,207 --> 01:15:40,875
and I had pins put in my hand.
1114
01:15:42,002 --> 01:15:43,837
But the area around the pins got infected,
1115
01:15:43,879 --> 01:15:46,464
and then there was the option of
just taking my finger off.
1116
01:15:49,759 --> 01:15:50,969
And then I broke my arm.
1117
01:15:52,637 --> 01:15:55,390
And the people around me were going,
"You gotta be careful."
1118
01:15:55,432 --> 01:15:57,058
I said, "This has nothing to do with
being careful.
1119
01:15:57,100 --> 01:15:58,393
This is just, like... This happens.
1120
01:15:58,435 --> 01:16:01,062
You have Parkinson's, you trip over shit,
and you fall down."
1121
01:16:02,022 --> 01:16:04,065
Try and lift your chest
just a little bit more.
1122
01:16:04,107 --> 01:16:05,191
There you go.
1123
01:16:10,155 --> 01:16:12,449
- Nice job. Do you...
- Don't put Mikey in a corner.
1124
01:16:14,451 --> 01:16:19,080
When I find you
talking about the shitty stuff,
1125
01:16:19,122 --> 01:16:22,208
I see you sort of get close to it
and then dart away.
1126
01:16:27,547 --> 01:16:29,299
Care... Careful with this right hand.
1127
01:16:29,341 --> 01:16:30,425
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
1128
01:16:31,009 --> 01:16:32,468
- Good. Have a seat.
- I'm okay.
1129
01:16:32,510 --> 01:16:33,887
- You want... You sure?
- Yeah.
1130
01:16:36,389 --> 01:16:38,767
- This is where I can't use my...
- Right.
1131
01:16:39,351 --> 01:16:42,312
See, the... the core is still there.
Those are obliques.
1132
01:16:42,354 --> 01:16:44,105
- Yeah.
- Right. How you feeling?
1133
01:16:45,148 --> 01:16:46,107
Okay.
1134
01:16:46,149 --> 01:16:49,110
I've interviewed you
for hours and hours and hours.
1135
01:16:49,152 --> 01:16:51,321
You've never told me once, "I'm in pain."
1136
01:16:54,157 --> 01:16:55,867
- I'm in pain.
- You are?
1137
01:16:55,909 --> 01:16:57,994
I'm in... intense pain.
1138
01:16:58,995 --> 01:17:00,663
Five, four...
1139
01:17:00,705 --> 01:17:03,208
...three, two, one. And relax.
1140
01:17:03,250 --> 01:17:05,710
- That's making it really hurt.
- The shoulder? Here?
1141
01:17:05,752 --> 01:17:09,255
Every-Every tremor is like...
Is like a seismic j-jolt.
1142
01:17:09,297 --> 01:17:11,007
- Do you wanna sit upright?
- Yeah, I do.
1143
01:17:11,049 --> 01:17:12,383
Do you wanna sit in the chair?
1144
01:17:12,425 --> 01:17:14,636
- Anything but what I'm doing right now.
- Okay.
1145
01:17:15,220 --> 01:17:16,471
But why wouldn't you tell me...
1146
01:17:16,513 --> 01:17:18,431
- This is about us talking...
- Well, it didn't come up.
1147
01:17:18,473 --> 01:17:20,350
...and telling the truth.
Why wouldn't you tell me about your pain?
1148
01:17:20,392 --> 01:17:24,020
It didn't come up.
I'm not gonna lead with it.
1149
01:17:27,399 --> 01:17:28,567
Good. Don't plop.
1150
01:17:29,109 --> 01:17:31,278
No jolts. Good.
1151
01:17:33,238 --> 01:17:34,239
I'm okay.
1152
01:17:36,032 --> 01:17:37,825
- I just wanna feel better.
- Yeah.
1153
01:17:37,867 --> 01:17:40,370
And, uh, it seems to me I can...
I can see clearly...
1154
01:17:40,870 --> 01:17:42,914
More clearly the things I need to do
to feel better.
1155
01:17:43,873 --> 01:17:46,042
But it's this Michael J. Fox stuff.
1156
01:17:47,168 --> 01:17:48,878
People express to me
that I make them feel better,
1157
01:17:48,920 --> 01:17:51,214
I make them do things
they might not otherwise do.
1158
01:17:51,256 --> 01:17:54,175
And that's-that's the most powerful thing
you could ever feel,
1159
01:17:54,217 --> 01:17:55,969
and that's a huge responsibility.
1160
01:17:56,511 --> 01:17:58,471
- And I don't want to fuck it up.
- Right.
1161
01:18:01,349 --> 01:18:05,686
It's okay not to be
Michael J. Fox sometimes.
1162
01:18:18,658 --> 01:18:21,745
Michael J. Fox
kept something very private.
1163
01:18:23,496 --> 01:18:25,206
Something about his health.
1164
01:18:25,248 --> 01:18:29,460
Now he's gone public with the fact
that he has Parkinson's disease.
1165
01:18:29,502 --> 01:18:32,088
Michael J. Fox,
one of America's best-loved actors
1166
01:18:32,130 --> 01:18:35,008
has decided to publicly announce that
he's been battling Parkinson's disease.
1167
01:18:35,050 --> 01:18:37,177
...shocked the
entertainment world when he announced
1168
01:18:37,219 --> 01:18:39,262
he has been battling Parkinson's disease.
1169
01:18:39,304 --> 01:18:41,389
...and has had it for seven years.
1170
01:18:42,933 --> 01:18:45,268
Michael,
all this week we have been hearing
1171
01:18:45,310 --> 01:18:47,604
that you have this devastating disease,
1172
01:18:47,646 --> 01:18:51,358
that it is life-threatening,
that you are in the fight for your life.
1173
01:18:52,275 --> 01:18:53,944
Do you feel relieved now?
1174
01:18:54,527 --> 01:18:56,279
Oh, my God. What have I done?
1175
01:18:58,448 --> 01:18:59,782
What is his prognosis?
1176
01:18:59,824 --> 01:19:02,624
Within ten years,
he will have serious disabilities.
1177
01:19:02,702 --> 01:19:04,902
Balance problems with frequent falls.
1178
01:19:05,413 --> 01:19:07,853
I think he's got
a tough road ahead of him.
1179
01:19:10,168 --> 01:19:11,544
Are you at all concerned
1180
01:19:11,586 --> 01:19:13,880
that now audiences
will look at you differently?
1181
01:19:18,343 --> 01:19:20,678
This will be my first time
in front of a studio audience
1182
01:19:20,720 --> 01:19:22,389
since I disclosed my diagnosis.
1183
01:19:25,183 --> 01:19:28,853
My fear was that they would reject me,
and that they would not understand it,
1184
01:19:30,313 --> 01:19:32,073
that because I was sick,
I couldn't be funny.
1185
01:19:34,234 --> 01:19:36,945
And I had to hope
that they could accept me.
1186
01:19:38,154 --> 01:19:40,156
- We got speed.
- Roll cameras.
1187
01:19:40,198 --> 01:19:41,950
- Mark.
- And action.
1188
01:19:47,163 --> 01:19:48,623
We meet again, Mr. Bond.
1189
01:19:58,133 --> 01:19:59,134
There.
1190
01:20:00,260 --> 01:20:01,720
Deal with that, Bobo Fischer.
1191
01:20:16,026 --> 01:20:19,070
I knew that.
1192
01:20:20,530 --> 01:20:21,989
That's a bold move.
1193
01:20:25,160 --> 01:20:27,245
And I got this huge reaction.
1194
01:20:28,079 --> 01:20:31,040
You have chosen poorly.
1195
01:20:36,013 --> 01:20:37,006
Checkmate.
1196
01:20:37,048 --> 01:20:39,633
Like, that's love that can't help itself.
1197
01:20:49,017 --> 01:20:52,062
- D-Do you feel like you have a 90-year-old...
- ...like, dad, or...
1198
01:20:52,362 --> 01:20:55,607
'Cause I don't feel like 90 years old,
but I... Well, you sometimes get mad at me.
1199
01:20:55,649 --> 01:20:57,442
Like, you guys all say,
"Be careful, be careful."
1200
01:20:57,484 --> 01:21:00,778
I say that I'm being careful. Like,
what, do I set out to not be careful?
1201
01:21:00,820 --> 01:21:03,489
Nobody thinks your agenda
isn't to be careful.
1202
01:21:03,531 --> 01:21:06,243
It's that that maybe isn't...
1203
01:21:07,410 --> 01:21:08,494
The first thing...
1204
01:21:08,536 --> 01:21:10,830
It's lower on the list of things
than it is for us.
1205
01:21:11,414 --> 01:21:13,499
So...
1206
01:21:13,541 --> 01:21:16,294
So I just have to make sure, you know?
And I'd rather...
1207
01:21:16,845 --> 01:21:18,463
It's great if you understand
what I'm saying,
1208
01:21:18,505 --> 01:21:19,964
but I'd rather you don't fall over.
1209
01:21:20,006 --> 01:21:21,466
- I... I'm working on it.
- Yeah.
1210
01:21:23,843 --> 01:21:26,471
I can look at myself, and I say,
"I have Parkinson's."
1211
01:21:27,138 --> 01:21:28,640
So, how do I wanna live with that?
1212
01:21:30,600 --> 01:21:32,435
But if I never get past the
"I have Parkinson's" part,
1213
01:21:32,477 --> 01:21:34,521
if I never get past the part
where I wake up in the morning
1214
01:21:34,563 --> 01:21:36,723
and I go, "Yeah, that's real.
That's-That's happening,"
1215
01:21:37,148 --> 01:21:38,608
then I can't get past it.
1216
01:21:38,650 --> 01:21:41,444
You know, this is the first time
that I've had a chance to talk with...
1217
01:21:41,486 --> 01:21:44,072
The first time you've been on the show
since you had your press conference
1218
01:21:44,114 --> 01:21:45,406
- and announced that you, uh...
- Right.
1219
01:21:45,448 --> 01:21:46,533
...have Parkinson's disease.
1220
01:21:46,575 --> 01:21:48,034
- And I just... I-I think folks...
- Yeah.
1221
01:21:48,076 --> 01:21:50,119
...uh, well, you know...
How's it been going since?
1222
01:21:50,161 --> 01:21:51,287
What was the reaction
of that announcement?
1223
01:21:51,329 --> 01:21:53,122
Pretty much the same.
It didn't-didn't change.
1224
01:21:53,164 --> 01:21:54,874
- I still have it. So...
- Yeah?
1225
01:21:59,087 --> 01:22:02,507
After all those years of
hiding my symptoms, I could let it go.
1226
01:22:03,633 --> 01:22:09,180
I suffer from a condition,
and it makes me do this,
1227
01:22:10,015 --> 01:22:12,851
and this, and...
1228
01:22:12,893 --> 01:22:14,853
Uh-oh.
1229
01:22:15,353 --> 01:22:17,939
If you just look at me long enough,
you get used to it.
1230
01:22:17,981 --> 01:22:21,734
I realized I didn't have to...
To do anything other than be myself.
1231
01:22:21,776 --> 01:22:23,736
Sometimes when I take
a little bit too much medication,
1232
01:22:23,778 --> 01:22:26,378
I get that kind of swaying thing.
I do the kind of Axl Rose thing.
1233
01:22:27,824 --> 01:22:31,619
So, if you see that, you know, just kind
of hum "Paradise City" in your mind.
1234
01:22:33,622 --> 01:22:37,667
I was still me, people recognized.
Just me plus Parkinson's.
1235
01:22:38,752 --> 01:22:41,171
Oh, Jesus Christ.
1236
01:22:41,213 --> 01:22:42,881
- What the hell?
- You want?
1237
01:22:44,341 --> 01:22:46,051
Did you shake that up on purpose?
1238
01:22:46,968 --> 01:22:47,868
Parkinson's.
1239
01:22:49,804 --> 01:22:52,641
Some people would view the news of
my disease as an ending.
1240
01:22:53,642 --> 01:22:56,561
But I was starting to sense that
it was really a beginning.
1241
01:22:57,145 --> 01:22:59,522
Actor Michael J. Fox
testified before Congress,
1242
01:22:59,564 --> 01:23:03,026
asking for an increase in research funding
for Parkinson's disease.
1243
01:23:04,319 --> 01:23:08,156
"I'm here to tell you that administering
a successful research program
1244
01:23:08,198 --> 01:23:09,491
is not rocket science.
1245
01:23:09,991 --> 01:23:13,662
It's mostly common sense and the will
to get things done. Thank you."
1246
01:23:14,204 --> 01:23:15,497
Good stuff, Michael.
1247
01:23:17,165 --> 01:23:18,625
I never actually said this to anybody,
1248
01:23:18,667 --> 01:23:20,001
but I always fantasized saying it.
1249
01:23:20,043 --> 01:23:22,796
"Yeah, you're bigger than me.
You'll beat me up.
1250
01:23:23,630 --> 01:23:26,132
But I'll hit you once, and you'll hurt."
1251
01:23:28,843 --> 01:23:30,554
And I knew that moment.
1252
01:23:34,975 --> 01:23:38,478
Muhammad Ali and
Michael J. Fox joining a chorus of voices
1253
01:23:38,520 --> 01:23:40,397
saying money is desperately needed.
1254
01:23:41,398 --> 01:23:45,068
I wanted to be in the world and-and not
take this and retreat from the world.
1255
01:23:45,777 --> 01:23:47,736
It made me realize
what I still have to give.
1256
01:23:48,822 --> 01:23:51,449
Find it extremely moving...
No pun intended...
1257
01:23:51,491 --> 01:23:53,651
To be here today and reach out...
1258
01:23:54,077 --> 01:23:57,277
The Fox Foundation has
revolutionized scientific philanthropy,
1259
01:23:57,831 --> 01:24:02,168
mobilized the Parkinson's community
and raised nearly two billion dollars.
1260
01:24:06,673 --> 01:24:10,594
I was ten years after my Parkinson's
diagnosis when Esmé was born.
1261
01:24:12,429 --> 01:24:15,640
Hello, I...
1262
01:24:15,682 --> 01:24:17,934
Go see Daddy. Go give Daddy a kiss.
1263
01:24:18,602 --> 01:24:20,436
- Look at Dad.
- What's Daddy doing?
1264
01:24:20,478 --> 01:24:21,604
Look at Daddy, Esmé.
1265
01:24:21,646 --> 01:24:22,772
The kids are the best,
1266
01:24:22,814 --> 01:24:25,649
because kids will just say,
"Will you stop moving around?"
1267
01:24:29,154 --> 01:24:31,781
I'm sure.
1268
01:24:31,823 --> 01:24:34,992
I... I say, "I'll give it a shot, hon."
1269
01:24:36,745 --> 01:24:39,706
Whoo!
1270
01:24:42,125 --> 01:24:43,084
- No.
- In love.
1271
01:24:43,126 --> 01:24:45,712
- No. They're...
- They're flying.
1272
01:24:45,754 --> 01:24:47,380
- They're dancing.
- Okay, good.
1273
01:24:47,422 --> 01:24:49,549
- Would you guys like to switch teams...
- But what...
1274
01:24:49,591 --> 01:24:52,093
...because we've been winning,
or do you wanna keep the same teams?
1275
01:24:52,135 --> 01:24:54,179
I like the teams we're on, but...
1276
01:24:54,221 --> 01:24:56,222
- I'm tragic at this game.
- It's not her fault. It's my fault.
1277
01:24:56,264 --> 01:24:57,640
But I was thinking... Yeah.
1278
01:24:57,682 --> 01:24:58,558
Do you see it?
1279
01:24:58,600 --> 01:25:00,227
- Oh, yeah.
- You got it?
1280
01:25:02,938 --> 01:25:03,855
You.
1281
01:25:04,356 --> 01:25:05,815
- You got it already?
- Yeah.
1282
01:25:05,857 --> 01:25:07,067
I just had me.
1283
01:25:07,692 --> 01:25:08,818
It was me?
1284
01:25:08,860 --> 01:25:10,111
It was me, not you.
1285
01:25:10,153 --> 01:25:12,196
He thinks it was "Michael J. Fox."
1286
01:25:15,992 --> 01:25:18,244
The thing about motion with me is,
I've always been moving,
1287
01:25:18,286 --> 01:25:19,913
and maybe that's because I'm small.
1288
01:25:19,955 --> 01:25:22,457
I've always been moving,
and I always counted on movement
1289
01:25:22,499 --> 01:25:24,792
to not only propel me from place to place,
1290
01:25:24,834 --> 01:25:28,588
but to express myself as I propelled
from place to place, and to be who I am.
1291
01:25:37,597 --> 01:25:41,184
But the thing that I learned
was that I couldn't be s-still in my life.
1292
01:25:41,226 --> 01:25:43,520
I couldn't be present in my life.
1293
01:25:52,404 --> 01:25:54,697
Until I found this...
This thing happened to me
1294
01:25:54,739 --> 01:25:56,658
that made me present
in every moment of my life,
1295
01:25:56,700 --> 01:25:57,980
because it was shaking me awake.
1296
01:26:01,204 --> 01:26:02,205
There you go.